Hey guys! As per usual it's been awhile. I hope to remedy that however. I am searching for a way to put my thoughts into words more consistently. I'll be fully honest, I have many many thoughts that go unwritten or recorded because I think about the effort and time it will take to put them into my blog and it's overwhelming.
Now I realize how selfish this point of view is, especially considering that as my blog has become more spiritual in nature, it has become less for my benefit and more for you, the reader's, benefit. I feel that God has given me this as part of my calling. I don't know if it's to be my only focus (I highly doubt it based on my history of having "career ADD" lol) but if it is then I will do my best to do it as well as I can.
You see, my motivation tends to come in waves. I am an extremely emotional person in that sense. I assume that there are many people this way, and I am just immature in my work ethic. This is something that I'm continually learning about myself. Things came relatively easy to me growing up, therefore I never had to work too hard for them. So now, more and more in my life I see myself just throwing to the side anything that I have to think hard about or work hard for. What a horrible horrible way to live. What a great way to never truly appreciate anything all that much.
Anyways, my plan is to write short posts each day on a given topic. I already have at least a week's worth of topics to write on. Otherwise as I said, I tend to think about how long the post will end up being, because I just have so much to say. As I write this, things are already getting too lengthy so I will do my best to sum up. I assume that you guys will also appreciate smaller, easier to digest posts.
My relationship with God has been a roller coaster lately. I start to press into Him, and He gives me the revelation that I ask for, and then soon after I become scared. I become overwhelmed with what I'm learning. I understand what it takes to go deep into faith, and my flesh is still holding onto this notion that I still want something to do with the world. I'm afraid to let go of the desires of money, and a nice house, and nice cars, etc.
I don't even really know why at this point. I don't really care all that much about those things anymore, yet I still pull back. It's like checking the water. I put my toe in, and then instantly pull back out. Anyways, my topic for today is being overwhelmed by God.
Personally I feel that my own reservations are nothing compared with that which the disciples must have felt after Jesus was taken from them. How overwhelming must it have been to know you have to write about the life of the Christ? I assume that's why it took a few of them so long to even be done. Writing a few lines each day is nothing compared to that. While my feelings are still valid, and I am subject to them, what I'm saying is that I need to push through them. I need to pray. I need God to help me with my desire and discipline.
Amen.
Thanks for reading! As I've promised a few times prior, I hope to be putting out much more consistent blog posts now. I have begun to eliminate a lot of the distractions from my life, and I feel much more in control now. I feel that I will be able to continue on what I've started.
As always, feel free to leave comments or questions! I love to hear from you guys. Talk to you soon!
No comments:
Post a Comment