One Year Anniversary

So I wanted to write this post yesterday, on the day of my one year anniversary of arriving here, but the day got pretty busy. Therefore, I'm going to treat this post as if I wrote it yesterday. There's been a lot going on in my mind since the last post, and I'm excited to share it with you guys.

First of all, I think I've finally past my "What are other Christians doing that's wrong" phase (of course not completely, we all have our downfalls). I feel that this phase inevitably comes with a young faith. We are taught in school to take what we learn and apply it to the world around us. There isn't a whole lot of concentration on introspection.

Therefore, a young (young in the length of time sense) Christian who is just learning about the Bible, and/or his/her own faith will be excited to see how they can help others. I mean...that IS the point of the Bible right? Helping others?

Well, not necessarily. That's certainly a point. A big one. But, Jesus taught us all a LOT about internal thoughts and sin. I think that I'm getting to the stage where I can really start to apply these teachings to myself, and begin to (with His help of course) change myself into a true Christian.

I'm not saying we can't see others and understand that there are things wrong with what they're doing, or see a culture of Christianity in another region of the world and realize it doesn't lend itself towards true belief. However, I think the outlook of criticism and unhelpful condemnation is where a lot of us go wrong.

A lot of this stems from my reading of Matthew 7:5 where Jesus says "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." How easy is it for us, as humans, to overlook our own shortcomings and think only of what we see in others.

It's like trying to teach someone to do a math proof, when you can't do it yourself. If you don't fully understand what Jesus is saying, you can't practice it. And if you can't practice it, you can't teach it to someone else, or even more importantly - be an example to them.

The days are coming where we, as Christians really need to step up our game. We can call ourselves Christians, and profess our faiths all we want, but if we don't make changes to begin living it, then we are in fact, also hypocrites. My outlook, not only personal, but in the world will be turning inward.

As Paul says in Corinthians 5:10 "...not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world." In this passage he is talking about how if we were to separate ourselves from all sinners, we would have to leave this world completely. No, we actually don't have to worry about the world, and what it's doing. 

We're not here to fix the sins of our world. Though I admit many times that's how I feel, that justice needs to be served, and my job is to serve it. How can I fight against social injustice? How about financial, or even physical injustice? I need to remember that is God's job, and truthfully that's a relief. That's something we can find solace in. He is coming, and He will exact true justice. Not mine, or anyone else's skewed/biased form. Let that relax you. Let it give you serenity!

I haven't been going to church lately. It's probably been about a month. I really need to fix this. I need fellowship. Everyone does. I've been working 6 days a week, and I just don't have the energy on Sundays. I keep thinking about how the Lord's week is a 6 day week, with 1 day (The Sabbath) for rest. I have to be honest, going to church does not feel like a rest.

I can't quite pinpoint why either. It could be the 1 hour+ round trip, or the fact that I feel that I'm inconveniencing someone who has to translate for me every time I come. Or that it takes at least 4 hours out of my day. I imagine that I'm really looking at this the wrong way though. I should be thinking of the positives. The encouragement I can bring to my brothers and sisters in Christ. Something they desperately need. Or that I should be grateful for the chance to joyously praise God's name without fear or persecution. Or truly that I should just be so excited to get into God's house at the end of a long hard frustrating week and be rejuvenated, and refilled with His love and Holy Spirit. 

I certainly know that I feel much better after I go every time. I do feel rested, and relaxed, and rejuvenated. I need to focus more on this, and be less stingy with my free time. This is something I will continue to pray about, and I know the Lord will fill my heart with desire, and dedication.

It has also come to my attention that I don't fear God enough. I came to this conclusion in a strange place. I was using the bathroom in an empty elementary school here after finishing my classes, and I just had a weird thought about how the door could fly open with a giant gust of wind (like in the movies lol) with God standing there, and how I would react. I thought about the Israelites in the desert. I thought about Moses who had actually come into God's presence. I was rightfully terrified. 

Being 6'6" and big my entire life, I think it's easy to fall into a sense of self-security. I've never trained for any kind of fighting in my life, but I've never had to worry about it because everyone that sees me tends to not want to challenge me to anything. It's easy to just be complacent. But in the presence of God, I would be helpless. I thought about the sins that I would be confronted with.

THEN I thought about something that filled me with dread. How I treat an incredible loving, self-sacrificing God almost every day. How I can literally be desiring something in my heart (lusting, drinking, over eating), think about God, know that I can pray for this desire to pass, AND INSTEAD, STILL do what I was planning. How incredibly purposely disrespectful. I can't imagine the anger I would have with myself if I was God. 

The amount of sheer complacency, and audacity to continue to sin even after weighing the alternatives of doing what is right - and learning to lean on God for the power to deny my flesh - is absolutely unbelievable. I understand that I can't deny my flesh by myself, that I need God. But I still am the one making the decision. I really need to fear God more.

I think in this day and age where things like miracles, and healing seem like fantasy, it's easy to just overlook the true magnitude of our existence. To downplay the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. I think it's time to get on my knees again, and praise the one true God, the creator of life, and everything in existence.

Lastly, I want to share something on a happy note. As I talked about in my last post, I walked past a man that looked homeless, and had a introspective look afterwards. Friday night after work, I went to the local train station here to meet a friend who was coming in for the weekend. It was a cold night, and in the doorway I saw a man on his hands and knees, face down to the cement with a donation jar in front of him. 

He had no shoes on, and his feet showed that he hadn't just taken them off and hidden them somewhere to gain more sympathy. I instantly felt compassion for him. I'm grateful that God put this in my heart. I had no thought of myself, and I wanted to help him. Unfortunately I had no cash with me. I asked my friend, and they had only a small amount of cash. I decided we should get him some shoes.

As I mentioned last time, there is a stigma in the U.S. that homeless people use money for drugs or alcohol, and I would imagine it's similar here. We went to go buy shoes and socks for this man, and found some at a store about a 10 min walk away. We came back, and some people were giving the man some cash, which was good to see. I wanted to ask if he wanted some food, but he was pretty unresponsive to anyone talking to him. He just kept his face to the ground. 

I don't know if it was some kind of act, or if he doesn't want people to talk to him, but it could also be complete and utter humiliation. I can't imagine how broken you would have to be to beg from others. I can totally understand him not wanting to show his face. He might also not be in the greatest physical condition.

I went over and patted him on the back and tried to give him the shoes and socks. My friend who is Korean told him that we had shoes for him, and he made a move a little, but didn't do much. I left the shoes and socks next to him, as I didn't want to force him to accept them. I hope that they helped him out.

A lot of people say that there is never something for nothing. Meaning, when you do a good deed, you get satisfaction out of it as well. I can certainly say that afterwards I felt good. I was happy that I could help, and even more happy and grateful that God put it in my heart to get this man some footwear. It was like I was on a mission, there was no stopping me. I would call it less of self satisfaction though. I didn't feel that I had accomplished something. I felt that God had started training me more for what I am to do in the future. I'm glad he could use it to help someone else, who appeared to be in great need. 

As always I'm grateful for all who read these. I hope to be an encouragement to other Christians, and salt and light to the world. Talk to you guys again soon!