오랜만이에요 (It's been awhile)

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Although it's break time, I've found myself still busy somehow. I have a lot of new things going on in life so I'll bring you up to date on them.

It's finally summer here, and they weren't lying about the heat. It hasn't hit the sheer high numbers that Chicago can hit, but it's very humid everyday. They also keep talking about typhoon season coming through. Apparently the rain comes and pounds South Korea for about a week. I still haven't seen anything more than a drizzle save for a 15 minute downpour yesterday at church. I believe them that it's coming, but I still haven't seen it. Maybe I should get an umbrella?

The heat is the kind of heat that makes you not want to do anything. You just sit there and sweat. Despite this, I've actually been hitting the gym harder than ever before. I spend anywhere between 2 and 3 hours a day in there typically. This is a very interesting and strange phenomenon for me considering my entire life has pretty much been devoted to staying away from physical exertion lol. Regardless of being the equivalent of a profession athlete earlier in my life, I was never truly in good shape and my game suffered for it.

I attribute this change to prayer. I have been praying for God to change me and help me enjoy working my body out, and boy has he done it. I am really enjoying the gym and the change of mentality that has gone along with it. I'm so grateful for this truly life changing and life saving gift He has given me.

HOWEVER, all this being said, there are still days I struggle with getting there. I lift hard and it's not always a breeze getting in the mindset for that. Knowing you're going to fail before you even start is a very interesting conundrum. Instead of focusing on succeeding, the key is to focus on improving every time you go. What I mean is this; last week I did squats (my program is 5 sets of 10 reps) and my 5 sets looked like this: (10 reps, 9 reps, 8 reps, 7 reps, 5 reps). Today I went in knowing that I physically probably wasn't capable of doing 5 sets of 10 reps, but I did know that I could get at least 2 sets of 10 reps and maybe 3. That was the goal I set and went for. This can be a great metaphor for life itself and building anything really. A business for example doesn't just happen, there are many steps and failures involved. You have to continue to push forward and eventually, you might just reach your goal. Your goal might not even look the same at that point, but that's how we learn and grow.

So back to the struggling part. You know, God puts things in our lives at the right time and sometimes we don't even realize it. On Saturday coming home on the bus I decided to put on my New Testament book on tape (a gift from my boy Matt Gates that is truly the gift that keeps on giving). I listened through the first 20 or so chapters of Matthew and came up with a few questions for my dad who loves Bible trivia and always asks me to come up with questions for him. Well this time I did. My first question was "Since there are 14 generations from Adam to David, and 14 generations from David to the Exile to Babylon, and 14 generations from the Exile to Babylon to Jesus, what is the significance of the Exile to Babylon?". Now my church and I have been through the Old Testament past the point of the Exile so I know what it is, but why is it so significant that it would break up the line of David down to Jesus by an extra 14 generations? Was the punishment that important? Well my dad of course answered well as he is well versed in the Word, and the short answer is that yes it was a punishment that in fact most of Israel never made it back from. A remnant of Judah finally came back to Jerusalem and re-created Israel.

The second question was a little more simple, "When John the Baptist baptized Jesus, the people saw the Spirit of God descend onto Jesus, so did Jesus not have the Spirit before that?". Simple answer is that he was born of the Spirit of God, but that it was an event for the people that showed the trinity on earth together. (Shout out to my Dad's YouTube channel with multiple sermon's that are excellent. If you're at all interested you should go check it out.)

This led my dad to continue onto the 40 days and nights that Jesus spent in the dessert with the Devil tempting him. The big lesson here is that the Devil will always come tempt you when you are at your weakest. That's a pretty scary thought, and will really test our dedication to the Lord.

I experienced this today without even realizing it. I skipped class today. I used the excuse that I didn't sleep well last night, and that if I went to class I would come back to the dorm and sleep and it would throw my entire schedule off since I had an appointment at 5pm. I knew that I probably wouldn't get to the gym today. What a weak excuse. I could have gone to class and been sleepy and figured it out. I really need to toughen up, but besides that my appointment was canceled and I ended up literally haven't nothing on my docket for the day. I stayed in bed and slept instead of class, and fell into old habits almost immediately. I started watching video games and feeling lazy. I started playing games on my iPad and debating not going to the gym.

This is when I realized that the Devil was trying to derail me. I didn't even realize I was in a weak state at that point, but I was falling into all the old bad habits that I had gotten rid of since coming here. I didn't even really know why, but I immediately started to pray. I asked God to calm my spirit and give me the strength to stay on track.

I wish I could say that I was miraculously swept off my feet onto a cloud to the gym and given energy like never before. That didn't happen haha, but I did go to the gym. Mostly because I realized that if I didn't go today tomorrow would be even more backed up. But that was enough, after I got there the competitive spirit kicked in and I worked as hard as ever.

Things have slowed down here for summer vacation, and without knowing it I sort of became lonely. I have class, but none of the other students really speak English, and we aren't good enough in Korean to carry a long deep conversation together. My roommate and other RA's work 9-5 in the K-PACE center so I'm kind of left on my own. I don't have a car and campus is really empty.

That being said, I don't feel all that lonely, just sometimes it creeps up on me. Not being busy will really do that to you. Instead of regressing into destructive behavior though, this has led me to be more dependent on God. I'm learning everyday how important it is to have Him at the center of your life. No person, or thing can ever fill the void in your heart. You must allow God to be your satisfaction. People, no matter how much they love you or care about you WILL let you down. It's just human nature, we're flawed and sinful people. Therefore looking to someone else or something else to fill that void inside of you will leave you even more empty and searching for something else for fulfillment.

I am constantly being reminded of this, and really doing my best to learn to put the blinders on and only look at God for this purpose. The other bonus of that is interpersonal as opposed to intra-personal. Once you are fulfilled by your relationship with God, other things in life are just a bonus. A nice car, a nice house, a wife and family are all gifts from God that you can appreciate and enjoy, but realize they could be gone tomorrow. Job is a great example of this, and how important your faith is to be your foundation.

I had another dream last night. (Gater if you read this feel free to interpret for me). I was in the middle of a city on the water. I would have to guess the water was the ocean, and the building types were definitely not American, though I can't place what type they would be. In the middle of this lit up and busy city was a gated off area that served as a prison. This prison was made of grass and rock, and had a mountain path leading up to the top. It was just as tall at the top as the buildings that surrounded it. It had string light electricity, so clearly not as advanced technologically as the city that surrounded it, yet it still fit in the landscape.

I had a mission at this prison. The electricity and water had ceased to run, and the people had disappeared. I could feel that they were still there, but maybe hiding due to tough circumstances. Possibly a feeling of self preservation. My mission was to get this prison back up and running. I knew exactly where the transformer was to get the electricity back on, but I had to be sneaky because of the guards (who were nonexistent but maybe hiding?). So I moved quietly and stealthily and quickly up this mountainous prison. The transformer was at the top of the path, and I succeeded in my mission to get the lights back on and water running (don't ask me how both were connected the main idea was the electricity). As SOON as I flipped the switch I knew I had to get out of there ASAP. I could hear prisoners and guards springing back to life, and knew the guards were coming up the path to the top.

Well what do you know? I was on top of a mountain in the middle of a city, and it just so happened I was given a hang glider. I have never ridden a hang glider, nor have I even thought about or seen one in the past few years but there it was nonetheless. So I took off running off the side of the mountain and trusted in the hang glider. In my dream I was praying to God, and knew I was completely trusting Him by using this.

The ride I took on the hang glider was one of the most surreal things I have ever had happen to me. I've had a few of these dreams in the past that seemed more real than reality. I'm not joking when I say that I could fully feel the wind against my body, and smell the water and FEEL my stomach drop as I went up and down on the wind. I went from the mountain prison to one of the near-ish buildings and continued to run across the roof of the building with the plan to jump off and continue on my way. I jumped off that building and the wind took me towards the water where I ended up landing safely. I remember being able to see the city in my mind from an aerial view, and everything was lit up and seemed to be restored to normal working order.

That was it. What a crazy experience. Anyways, I'm looking for a used car. Unfortunately I'm not all that experienced with cars so I'll need a mechanic to go with me and look at whatever car I decide on. Cars seem to be pretty expensive here despite the fact that everyone seems to want a new car, and there are 3 domestic car manufacturers here. Car insurance is also expensive. Gas is also very very expensive. The problem is I need this car to start a part time job in September once I'm eligible (after my initial 6 months probation on a student visa). I've been praying about it and I'm sure God will provide what I need. Maybe that's what the dream was about! He's gonna give me a hang glider to get there! Haha, that would be a wild story to come home with.

In other news I paid the entrance fee for the G12 summit/conference I talked about in my last post. I want to see what it's actually about so that I can first hand pray and decide if this is something good, or that we should be afraid of. Regardless of what happens, I know that God will use everything to His glory either way.

Otherwise there are only 4 weeks left of Korean class for this semester. After that I get about a month off before the K-PACE students come back, and we get to do it all again! It's not looking like I'll have the money to travel like I wanted to, but that's ok. I'll probably end up hitting the gym, and seeing some places domestically here.

Overall I'm still really enjoying my time here. I'm so grateful for all that God has given me. I keep telling people that I literally left everything to come here for next to nothing, completely trusting Him. I had a great job and was almost finished with my MBA back in Chicago when I felt God put it in my heart to come here. I came here with nothing, and he has been sustaining me just as I have asked for in prayer. I look forward to continuing my adventures for the next 8-9 months here.

Thanks everyone for reading! I'll try to post more often! Leave comments or questions if you have them.