I think a lot of people enjoy saying they're a
Christian, and the false feeling of endorphins they get when they think
they are doing "good". I've had this talk with many people before, but
no one does good for others without getting something out of it
themselves. Even giving a few dollars to a homeless person on the
corner. What do you get out of it? I'll bet you feel like a good person
for the rest of the day. Maybe the rest of the week/month.
Unfortunately,
the truth is that we are not good, and will never be good. Can you
accept this fact? Jesus clearly makes it plain in Matthew when he talks
about the multitude of sins we commit in our hearts everyday that
weren't previously even thought of. What other sins are we constantly
committing if prior to this we weren't even considering internal
thoughts as sin?
Let me ask you this. Do you have to
teach a child to be selfish, or to share? Do you have to teach them how
to be mean, or how to say kind things to others? As much as we'd like to
think otherwise, we are all broken, sinful humans who succumb to the
temptations of the flesh. Accept this, and you will be changed!
Ok,
changed into what? Some superhuman person who never does any wrong? The
pope? That'd be sweet right? Sorry guys, I got bad news for you. Even
the pope is a sinner. In fact everyone who has ever lived is a sinner,
except Jesus. You won't be transformed into a perfect person. In fact,
those who think entry to heaven is achieved through works are Pharisaic,
and dead wrong. You CANNOT and WILL NOT get to heaven by "doing good"
because the law says to do it, or even because the good guys in the
Bible did it.
Read what Jesus says about the Pharisees
and how they attempted perfection on the outside, but were full of
garbage on the inside. Bitter and self righteous because they "knew" and
did better than everyone else. What a horrific life! So unfulfilling!
Like someone who always follows the rules, never sneaks out to a party
at night. Never tries something they're not supposed to. As Paul says,
the law of humans is there for the unbelievers, not the righteous.
That's because we live by God's law.
Am I advocating
breaking the law? No, but the illustration needs to be made that the
motivation is the key. You need to be so overwhelmed by Jesus' sacrifice
on the cross for you, that you're moved to change. You clean the inside
first, and the outside becomes clean as a result. You realize that
Jesus loves you so much that you WANT to be different for Him. You stop
desiring what the world desires, and you realize that heavenly treasures
are what you want.
So now we're back to prayer and
honesty. When I started attending ODM my Korean church back in Chicago,
something changed in me. I didn't care what people thought about me
anymore. I was going to be honest. About everything in my life. Not
because I didn't care about people, but because I knew God would use my
struggles to help others with their walks.
Most people
are so afraid of ridicule and failure that they put up a facade of
having things together and their "social media" perfect life. What does
this lead to? A world full of people that don't want to be honest with
each other, and are therefore held at arms length from each other. Never
truly realizing that THEY'RE ALL STRUGGLING WITH THE SAME STUFF. We are
all struggling with the same types of things guys, and the only way we
can overcome that is to be open and honest with each other...and more
importantly, God.
This should be the easiest thing in
the world considering we already know that God knows everything about
us, including what's in our hearts. So what's stopping us from just
telling Him what He already knows? It takes time, but it's important to
start. If you truly have accepted Jesus as your Christ and Savior, then
it's time you gave Him your heart and honesty along with it. Allow Him
inside you, allow Him to change you.
The next part has
to do with who we pray to. Do we pray to Jesus or to God? Who gets the
glory? Does it matter? Aren't they the same? Well the trinity is
definitely a difficult subject, and even more difficult to wrap your
head around sometimes. Sometimes the best way to accept it is just
through faith and not logic. I had a conversation with a fellow
Christian about the trinity recently and they kept asking how Jesus
could be God, if Jesus was God's son?
What an
excellent question from a logical standpoint. The only real way to
explain this properly is to say that Jesus was always and is always with
God. However He is a separate part of God sent down to take our sins
away. The same way the Holy Spirit is God, yet a separate part. All
three of these parts obviously make up the trinity. I have not received
revelation regarding the trinity, so maybe someone else with more
learning than I will be able to explain better logically. That's my best
explanation along with the fact that we're not meant to understand a
lot of what God is or does. Just that we have faith that He is who He
says He is, and He does what He says He does.
So the
answer to the above question is that we pray to God the Father. We pray
to the Father THROUGH the Son. Jesus came as an intercessory so that we
could continue to have a relationship with the Father. Jesus became the
sacrifice so that we wouldn't need to slaughter any more lambs or bulls
or calves. Now we can still talk to God through prayer and have a
relationship with Him despite our wickedness. Jesus makes all this
possible. He is certainly worthy of praise, however we are to go to the
Father in prayer.
Why is this so important since
they're the same God? Well, as we see in the Bible, even Jesus prays to
God and calls Him the father. (I'm
linking this as an example of the passion of Christ's prayers, and how
we should pray as well. With emotion! Like a child to our father) If
that's not enough for you right there, think about the Old Testament.
Who made the covenant with the Jews? God the Father. Who made the
covenant with Abraham? God the Father. He is the pinnacle and the
ultimate creator. Of course this isn't to say Jesus or the Holy Spirit
is any less. The key here is not to get into semantics, but to realize
what our purpose is here, and accept that our relationship is to be with
the Father through the Son washing away our sins, and cleansing us.
Lastly,
let's talk about the church and her purpose. I say "Her" because as
Jesus said, he came to prepare her as a bride to be married to the groom
(God). Not sexually, but as a relationship. As I discussed before. THIS
IS HOW MUCH GOD DESIRES A RELATIONSHIP WITH US. If you believe the book
we base our faith on, then you believe that God sent His Son, or part
of Himself down to earth to be murdered for us! Us! That sin everyday!
That lie and cheat and steal everyday! He did this knowingly and yet
still went down for us. THAT'S how much He loves us. Get over yourself
and start a relationship with the Father today. Close your bedroom door.
Get a pillow and get down on your knees and just open a conversation
with Him. You'd be surprised what comes out, and eventually what grows
in you.
A quick final thought on this subject. It's
very easy to be pulled into praying only for ourselves. (God give me
money and a good job etc, or even just good health, or save my aunt who
has cancer). But remember we are here to glorify Him. Ask Him to give
you those things so you can glorify Him through you! Remember Him when
He gives you what you ask for! Slowly but surely you too will be unable
to talk about anything else but your loving relationship with our God.
The creator of the universe. What a transformation for the church this
could be if even 10% of "Christians" were to do this. We would begin to
be worthy of being a bride for the one and true God.
As
always, thanks for reading! I'm sorry it was so long, but it was
necessary. I'm going to an intensive missionary meeting October 5th-7th
so pray for me. I'll let you know what goes on! Talk to you all soon.
Thursday, September 28, 2017
Dominoes Part 3
Our church has become a superficial one. Our Bible has become a list
of things that make you a good person. Our Christians have become lame,
and impotent. I feel that a LOT of this has to do with honesty.
I wondered as I took in the sermon on Sunday, how many people in this church (or any church for that matter) would honestly be able to put up their hands if I asked who had personal time with God everyday. I'm talking about real personal time getting to know Him.
Think about your best friend. How did they become your best friend? Did you just meet once and know? Then you never hung out again? Absolutely not. Of course some people fall for each other quicker than others in relationships, but the point is you HAVE to spend time with someone in order to grow a relationship with them. It's imperative, that's how humans work. (I remember an astounding fact from one of my psychology courses stating that if a man and a woman were stuck on a desert island together they would eventually fall in love with each other no matter what happened even despite attractiveness being extremely different). You grow attached to the people/things you spend time with. That's why your phone is YOUR phone, and no one else better touch it. It represents so much time and effort. People are the same way, and guess what? A relationship with God is no different.
Who spends enough time getting to know God each day? Who spends enough time building a relationship, and falling in love with Him? I know I don't. It's truly impossible if you think about how we SHOULD be. However, God so loves us that even a few minutes a day will reap incredible rewards.
Ok so how do we do that? Well by prayer of course silly head! You know, I've taken Jesus' advice lately and I've started closing the door to my room, and getting on my knees when I pray. Absolutely you can use a pillow if you have a hard floor, this isn't about sacrifice.
Right! So we got prayer! But...but...HOW do we pray? THIS IS SO VERY IMPORTANT I CAN'T EMPHASIZE IT ENOUGH. When's the last time you cried out to God? In anger? In frustration? In praise? In love? With any kind of emotion at all?! When's the last time you really let Him KNOW your heart? Let's put aside the fact for a second that God is omniscient. When you're in a relationship with someone, you HAVE to communicate in order to grow the relationship. If you never go deeper than niceties then what kind of relationship is that? That's a superficial relationship that WILL GO NOWHERE.
Therefore, what do we do? Well, luckily my church has been reading through Psalms lately, so we have had a chance to see King David's prayers in action. That's right, the Bible has blueprints for you. From the man who's heart is after God's own heart. "“After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.‘" (Acts 13:22) Yep, you read that right...you can literally see what David prayed. ESPECIALLY in times of trouble.
Wasn't David like, this super awesome amazing superhuman dude who we could never hold a candle to? Nope. Sure he became king due to divine intervention, but God doesn't require perfection. He wants love, adoration, rightful praise, and above all else a relationship...WITH YOU.
King David was certainly a great king and believer, but he did some terrible stuff too. The key was, all the while, he TRUSTED and confided in God. His prayers are so deeply honest it's awesome to read. It's like a little child complaining to his father and wanting him to fix everything for him.
So what do you think? Do we follow the blueprint that's been laid in front of us by our current church? Sanitized prayer, and words without action? Or should we try to be more like king David, and in turn more like Christ? We should pray with complete and utter honesty. Asking for what we want from God. Giving Him His due praise. Building a relationship with Him. He WILL answer. He has for me, and He will for you too.
Keep in mind this will happen on His timeline, but be on the lookout for an answer to what you're asking for. It may not be the way you expect it to be, but if you truly desire His will, then it will workout better than you could have ever planned.
That's the thing guys. This is all a process right? Who's ready to just fall head over heels in love with God and rip open their chest in prayer everyday right after they learn about God? I would be willing to bet it's not many people. It takes quite awhile to process the incredible sacrifice that Jesus made in coming here for us.
That's why it's a relationship that you have to build. You need to spend time with Him everyday. Learning to open up and be honest. Letting Him change you. Little by little. Just like if you were a body builder. You don't pick up weights and you're automatically jacked. It takes time, and you need to work for it everyday.
If you truly want it, He will change you. That's what we should be desiring. God changing us into what He wants us to be. Men and women of God who are true disciples, and willing to do His will. It's a scary prospect to give up your own desires and goals in life. To let someone else steer the car of life. However, if you REALLY believe God is who He says He is, well then there's no better chauffeur.
One more after this! Almost there!
I wondered as I took in the sermon on Sunday, how many people in this church (or any church for that matter) would honestly be able to put up their hands if I asked who had personal time with God everyday. I'm talking about real personal time getting to know Him.
Think about your best friend. How did they become your best friend? Did you just meet once and know? Then you never hung out again? Absolutely not. Of course some people fall for each other quicker than others in relationships, but the point is you HAVE to spend time with someone in order to grow a relationship with them. It's imperative, that's how humans work. (I remember an astounding fact from one of my psychology courses stating that if a man and a woman were stuck on a desert island together they would eventually fall in love with each other no matter what happened even despite attractiveness being extremely different). You grow attached to the people/things you spend time with. That's why your phone is YOUR phone, and no one else better touch it. It represents so much time and effort. People are the same way, and guess what? A relationship with God is no different.
Who spends enough time getting to know God each day? Who spends enough time building a relationship, and falling in love with Him? I know I don't. It's truly impossible if you think about how we SHOULD be. However, God so loves us that even a few minutes a day will reap incredible rewards.
Ok so how do we do that? Well by prayer of course silly head! You know, I've taken Jesus' advice lately and I've started closing the door to my room, and getting on my knees when I pray. Absolutely you can use a pillow if you have a hard floor, this isn't about sacrifice.
Right! So we got prayer! But...but...HOW do we pray? THIS IS SO VERY IMPORTANT I CAN'T EMPHASIZE IT ENOUGH. When's the last time you cried out to God? In anger? In frustration? In praise? In love? With any kind of emotion at all?! When's the last time you really let Him KNOW your heart? Let's put aside the fact for a second that God is omniscient. When you're in a relationship with someone, you HAVE to communicate in order to grow the relationship. If you never go deeper than niceties then what kind of relationship is that? That's a superficial relationship that WILL GO NOWHERE.
Therefore, what do we do? Well, luckily my church has been reading through Psalms lately, so we have had a chance to see King David's prayers in action. That's right, the Bible has blueprints for you. From the man who's heart is after God's own heart. "“After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.‘" (Acts 13:22) Yep, you read that right...you can literally see what David prayed. ESPECIALLY in times of trouble.
Wasn't David like, this super awesome amazing superhuman dude who we could never hold a candle to? Nope. Sure he became king due to divine intervention, but God doesn't require perfection. He wants love, adoration, rightful praise, and above all else a relationship...WITH YOU.
King David was certainly a great king and believer, but he did some terrible stuff too. The key was, all the while, he TRUSTED and confided in God. His prayers are so deeply honest it's awesome to read. It's like a little child complaining to his father and wanting him to fix everything for him.
So what do you think? Do we follow the blueprint that's been laid in front of us by our current church? Sanitized prayer, and words without action? Or should we try to be more like king David, and in turn more like Christ? We should pray with complete and utter honesty. Asking for what we want from God. Giving Him His due praise. Building a relationship with Him. He WILL answer. He has for me, and He will for you too.
Keep in mind this will happen on His timeline, but be on the lookout for an answer to what you're asking for. It may not be the way you expect it to be, but if you truly desire His will, then it will workout better than you could have ever planned.
That's the thing guys. This is all a process right? Who's ready to just fall head over heels in love with God and rip open their chest in prayer everyday right after they learn about God? I would be willing to bet it's not many people. It takes quite awhile to process the incredible sacrifice that Jesus made in coming here for us.
That's why it's a relationship that you have to build. You need to spend time with Him everyday. Learning to open up and be honest. Letting Him change you. Little by little. Just like if you were a body builder. You don't pick up weights and you're automatically jacked. It takes time, and you need to work for it everyday.
If you truly want it, He will change you. That's what we should be desiring. God changing us into what He wants us to be. Men and women of God who are true disciples, and willing to do His will. It's a scary prospect to give up your own desires and goals in life. To let someone else steer the car of life. However, if you REALLY believe God is who He says He is, well then there's no better chauffeur.
One more after this! Almost there!
Dominoes Part 2
Ok so this part is a progressive post from the last one. It will incorporate and elaborate on some of the thoughts, but it's mostly new material. I assume this will be a pretty lengthy post so I might end up even breaking it up into sub-posts but we will see.
As of last Sunday I hadn't been to church in about a month. Between the fact that it takes about an hour and a half to get to my church by public transportation, and traveling, plus some personal things that needed to be taken care of, I had neglected my attendance. Obviously this wasn't on purpose but my time is pretty restricted these days, so Sundays are sometimes the only free time I get.
Anyways, missing church for that long really reminded me how very much we all need fellowship and to be in God's house. It may not seem like it, but wow does sin slip in fast. Subtle change in views become big changes over time, and left unchecked can really threaten our faith.
Case and point, I'm in the market for a new phone and car now. Both are necessary at this point, and I'm working on saving the funds necessary for these purchases. I'm looking at a used car in the range of 7-9k or so as I'm planning on being here awhile and I would like something nice. I'm also looking at the galaxy note 8 phone. (I want to keep my American number so a new phone would be necessary, I looked into other options like Google voice and a Skype number but they just aren't feasible in my situation).
A little background on me. I was brought up with all the best equipment. I wasn't spoiled...I knew the value of what I had, but my parents had the motto "an artist is only as good as his tools". I grew up playing hockey, and for everyone who knows hockey reading this, equipment isn't cheap. I always had the best of the best, and I have grown accustomed to this. Would a burner phone work? Of course. Would a rust bucket car that goes from point A to point B safely work? Of course.
This brings up a great theological discussion. I think there are very valid arguments on both sides of this. As Christians where do "material belongings" fit in for us? Jesus lived broke and homeless. Paul was pretty close to this as well. Though there are times Paul says he lacked nothing, and lived pretty well.
There are other men in the Bible who were extremely wealthy. (King David, and King Solomon, as well as Job). These men lacked nothing. Obviously they had the means to have whatever they wanted. However, I would guess the truth lies in the motivation. Having a nice car/phone in order to garner attention from others is a sinful outlook, but having them out of necessity would be acceptable.
In my head I then wonder about what Paul said about "becoming all things to all people in order to win them". If I'm to be in the world of hockey, and teaching business men would having those things give me more credibility? Is that even what Paul meant? It's a legitimate question, and likely one that ends with not having the expensive things because it's easy to get caught up in that.
I don't think it's a sin to have things you can afford because God gives you the means to do so. However, the key is to not be attached to these "things". Understand that they are merely tools to be used for the kingdom. God can take everything away from you tomorrow (see the book of Job).
This is much easier said than done. All of this has been a background to my church visit last Sunday and the thoughts that have been going through my head. I seem to have revelation every time I go to church these days, and honestly I should probably be doing much more of it. The things I think of when I'm in God's house are very simple, yet profound. I find myself wanting to share more and more the deeper I go into Him. I find myself wanting to speak in church, and go on mission trips.
These things were never my desires before, but when God takes over your life you just can't help yourself. People tend to talk about what their heart desires. For some it's cars, for others it's men/women, yet others it's money. I am beginning to turn from all of that to talking about God, and it's scary and awesome. Scary because I know the sacrifice required for truly living as Christ does, but I am fully willing and looking forward to accepting that. Awesome because I used to think people that only wanted to talk about God were boring and lame, and now I'm starting to understand it.
I had a conversation with the pastor on Sunday 1 on 1. He pulled me aside and asked if we could talk. I was really excited because I had plenty I wanted to say to him since I had started attending this particular church. He may have been worried since I hadn't been to church in a month or so, and wanted to check in with me. His English was actually pretty good, good enough to have a conversation that we both understood.
He started by asking me how I liked the church. To which I answered that I liked it very much, and that from the first time I walked in I felt the Holy Spirit was at work. I also feel that each time I hear his sermon it's something that I need to hear, and that's very important. He was very happy to hear that and launched into an explanation of his theological beliefs and his vision of the church.
The main points that he mentioned were a church like the one in acts. A small church where people live and act as Christians. He also mentioned pushing people to be disciples since the Great Commission is something that we need to strive for.
I was happy to tell him that I agreed with everything he had to say. I am very in favor of home churches. I think it's extremely important to have fellowship with a small group of people. That way you have intimacy. You are involved in people's lives. You know what struggles they are going through, and what they need and you can fulfill those needs. That gets lost in large congregations. I also agree that we need to send out disciples to all nations. The only problem is that no one is teaching HOW to be a disciple. I know the desire is there, but the knowledge is missing.
I finally got the chance to tell the pastor how I felt about the G12 conference that we went to. I didn't like it. I think the idea can be a good one, but the way it's executed is pretty bad. There's a lot of prosperity gospel being preached, and only motivational speeches on being a good disciple, no teaching on HOW to do that.
I remember talking with my buddy Matt Gates about this during the conference, and he echoed those sentiments. Many people are saying "Go and make disciples of all nations" but no one is teaching how! I'm hoping that these revelations I'm having can help with this issue.
So then you ask, what are these revelations I've been having? Well as I said, they're pretty simple, yet profound. I'm hoping that these thoughts can help even one person, that would make things worth it, but even not at this point I know these will help me teach others in the future.
I will continue this post so as to not let it be too long!
As of last Sunday I hadn't been to church in about a month. Between the fact that it takes about an hour and a half to get to my church by public transportation, and traveling, plus some personal things that needed to be taken care of, I had neglected my attendance. Obviously this wasn't on purpose but my time is pretty restricted these days, so Sundays are sometimes the only free time I get.
Anyways, missing church for that long really reminded me how very much we all need fellowship and to be in God's house. It may not seem like it, but wow does sin slip in fast. Subtle change in views become big changes over time, and left unchecked can really threaten our faith.
Case and point, I'm in the market for a new phone and car now. Both are necessary at this point, and I'm working on saving the funds necessary for these purchases. I'm looking at a used car in the range of 7-9k or so as I'm planning on being here awhile and I would like something nice. I'm also looking at the galaxy note 8 phone. (I want to keep my American number so a new phone would be necessary, I looked into other options like Google voice and a Skype number but they just aren't feasible in my situation).
A little background on me. I was brought up with all the best equipment. I wasn't spoiled...I knew the value of what I had, but my parents had the motto "an artist is only as good as his tools". I grew up playing hockey, and for everyone who knows hockey reading this, equipment isn't cheap. I always had the best of the best, and I have grown accustomed to this. Would a burner phone work? Of course. Would a rust bucket car that goes from point A to point B safely work? Of course.
This brings up a great theological discussion. I think there are very valid arguments on both sides of this. As Christians where do "material belongings" fit in for us? Jesus lived broke and homeless. Paul was pretty close to this as well. Though there are times Paul says he lacked nothing, and lived pretty well.
There are other men in the Bible who were extremely wealthy. (King David, and King Solomon, as well as Job). These men lacked nothing. Obviously they had the means to have whatever they wanted. However, I would guess the truth lies in the motivation. Having a nice car/phone in order to garner attention from others is a sinful outlook, but having them out of necessity would be acceptable.
In my head I then wonder about what Paul said about "becoming all things to all people in order to win them". If I'm to be in the world of hockey, and teaching business men would having those things give me more credibility? Is that even what Paul meant? It's a legitimate question, and likely one that ends with not having the expensive things because it's easy to get caught up in that.
I don't think it's a sin to have things you can afford because God gives you the means to do so. However, the key is to not be attached to these "things". Understand that they are merely tools to be used for the kingdom. God can take everything away from you tomorrow (see the book of Job).
This is much easier said than done. All of this has been a background to my church visit last Sunday and the thoughts that have been going through my head. I seem to have revelation every time I go to church these days, and honestly I should probably be doing much more of it. The things I think of when I'm in God's house are very simple, yet profound. I find myself wanting to share more and more the deeper I go into Him. I find myself wanting to speak in church, and go on mission trips.
These things were never my desires before, but when God takes over your life you just can't help yourself. People tend to talk about what their heart desires. For some it's cars, for others it's men/women, yet others it's money. I am beginning to turn from all of that to talking about God, and it's scary and awesome. Scary because I know the sacrifice required for truly living as Christ does, but I am fully willing and looking forward to accepting that. Awesome because I used to think people that only wanted to talk about God were boring and lame, and now I'm starting to understand it.
I had a conversation with the pastor on Sunday 1 on 1. He pulled me aside and asked if we could talk. I was really excited because I had plenty I wanted to say to him since I had started attending this particular church. He may have been worried since I hadn't been to church in a month or so, and wanted to check in with me. His English was actually pretty good, good enough to have a conversation that we both understood.
He started by asking me how I liked the church. To which I answered that I liked it very much, and that from the first time I walked in I felt the Holy Spirit was at work. I also feel that each time I hear his sermon it's something that I need to hear, and that's very important. He was very happy to hear that and launched into an explanation of his theological beliefs and his vision of the church.
The main points that he mentioned were a church like the one in acts. A small church where people live and act as Christians. He also mentioned pushing people to be disciples since the Great Commission is something that we need to strive for.
I was happy to tell him that I agreed with everything he had to say. I am very in favor of home churches. I think it's extremely important to have fellowship with a small group of people. That way you have intimacy. You are involved in people's lives. You know what struggles they are going through, and what they need and you can fulfill those needs. That gets lost in large congregations. I also agree that we need to send out disciples to all nations. The only problem is that no one is teaching HOW to be a disciple. I know the desire is there, but the knowledge is missing.
I finally got the chance to tell the pastor how I felt about the G12 conference that we went to. I didn't like it. I think the idea can be a good one, but the way it's executed is pretty bad. There's a lot of prosperity gospel being preached, and only motivational speeches on being a good disciple, no teaching on HOW to do that.
I remember talking with my buddy Matt Gates about this during the conference, and he echoed those sentiments. Many people are saying "Go and make disciples of all nations" but no one is teaching how! I'm hoping that these revelations I'm having can help with this issue.
So then you ask, what are these revelations I've been having? Well as I said, they're pretty simple, yet profound. I'm hoping that these thoughts can help even one person, that would make things worth it, but even not at this point I know these will help me teach others in the future.
I will continue this post so as to not let it be too long!
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Dominoes Part 1
I'm going to break this post into 2 parts because it's going to be long. It's also many thoughts so I think it's pretty necessary. There's been a lot going on in my thoughts, and my relationship with God so I thought it important to write it out for you guys. Without further adieu, here we go.
The main thought of this post is "The domino effect of sin". This post obviously pertains mostly to my life considering these are my personal thoughts on the subject, but I would be willing to bet that others have this particular issue as well.
What I mean is that I go along my merry way during the week and feel that I'm doing a pretty good job of avoiding sin (I know this isn't the case, but at least conscious sins), and then I let the flesh win a battle. I say let because truly God does not tempt us beyond our ability to withstand temptation. This may consist of anything such as drinking too much on a given night, or eating too much during a meal.
The result is that this sets off a ripple effect of doing things that I probably wouldn't normally otherwise do. Much like how a "diet" is ruined for the week if you cheat once, and you have to wait until next Monday to get back on track so you might as well just cheat the rest of the week. (I know you guys know what I'm talking about).
I was talking to my buddy Matt Tolbert about this back when I was living in Chicago. It's extremely easy to get into the mindset of "well I sinned so I might as well do the other things I wanted to do during this time of failure". We don't realize that we are expected to sin, and ultimately it is KNOWN by God that we will sin before we even do it. We are not saints. We should not feel the need to be that way either.
Christianity has been twisted into an unrecognizable reflection of its former self. Sure, Christ is still there. Sure, the Bible is still there. But how many people do you know in the church that LIVE how Christ did? (No I'm not saying homeless and broke) but truly learning to love someone for them, not their status or material wealth, and practicing the tenets of love and forgiveness no matter what the price.
Brennan Manning used to say "Christ loves you how you are, and not as you should be". Let that sink in. As. You. Are. Right now. Even after you got mad at the bad driver in front of you coming home from work. Even after you thought about what types of material wealth you could gather if you were Bill Gates. Even after you had pre-marital sex. Even after you lusted after someone on the street. Even after you were prideful in your self-righteousness.
He knows. He knew before he gave His life on the cross for you. However, what does He say to the invalid man that He healed in John? "14 Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinninga or something worse may happen to you.”" (John 5:14) It's right there. From the mouth of Christ. Stop. Sinning.
So why do I have the mentality that one sin can beget another? That I failed, so another sin won't matter? I'm going to do it anyway so I might as well get it over with? I don't honestly know. I don't know if it's a product of our culture. Or if it's a product of us being human. Either way it's something I've decided I need to fix.
As I said before, It's so easy to fall into the "Domino effect". I see these patterns other places in my life as well. This also doesn't happen with positive things, but only negative. It's the typical flesh pushing the boundaries. Just one more. Just another one, it won't hurt. It's sin rearing its ugly head yet again.
It's ok to stop. It's ok to not repeat. It's ok to allow God to change you. It's can be a scary thing becoming a true child of God, but as we can see the rewards in heaven far outweigh the rewards you get here on earth.
I'm going to continue praying about this, and allowing God to change me in this way. Working to be conscious every time I fall into this habit. Over time we CAN change, and if we ask, God WILL change us. I pray that those of you who also fall into this temptation will look to Him for help.
Tune in tomorrow or possibly the next day for another installment in this topic, but more of a progression. I have a lot to say that I thought about over the weekend. As always, thanks for reading and see you next time!
The main thought of this post is "The domino effect of sin". This post obviously pertains mostly to my life considering these are my personal thoughts on the subject, but I would be willing to bet that others have this particular issue as well.
What I mean is that I go along my merry way during the week and feel that I'm doing a pretty good job of avoiding sin (I know this isn't the case, but at least conscious sins), and then I let the flesh win a battle. I say let because truly God does not tempt us beyond our ability to withstand temptation. This may consist of anything such as drinking too much on a given night, or eating too much during a meal.
The result is that this sets off a ripple effect of doing things that I probably wouldn't normally otherwise do. Much like how a "diet" is ruined for the week if you cheat once, and you have to wait until next Monday to get back on track so you might as well just cheat the rest of the week. (I know you guys know what I'm talking about).
I was talking to my buddy Matt Tolbert about this back when I was living in Chicago. It's extremely easy to get into the mindset of "well I sinned so I might as well do the other things I wanted to do during this time of failure". We don't realize that we are expected to sin, and ultimately it is KNOWN by God that we will sin before we even do it. We are not saints. We should not feel the need to be that way either.
Christianity has been twisted into an unrecognizable reflection of its former self. Sure, Christ is still there. Sure, the Bible is still there. But how many people do you know in the church that LIVE how Christ did? (No I'm not saying homeless and broke) but truly learning to love someone for them, not their status or material wealth, and practicing the tenets of love and forgiveness no matter what the price.
Brennan Manning used to say "Christ loves you how you are, and not as you should be". Let that sink in. As. You. Are. Right now. Even after you got mad at the bad driver in front of you coming home from work. Even after you thought about what types of material wealth you could gather if you were Bill Gates. Even after you had pre-marital sex. Even after you lusted after someone on the street. Even after you were prideful in your self-righteousness.
He knows. He knew before he gave His life on the cross for you. However, what does He say to the invalid man that He healed in John? "14 Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinninga or something worse may happen to you.”" (John 5:14) It's right there. From the mouth of Christ. Stop. Sinning.
So why do I have the mentality that one sin can beget another? That I failed, so another sin won't matter? I'm going to do it anyway so I might as well get it over with? I don't honestly know. I don't know if it's a product of our culture. Or if it's a product of us being human. Either way it's something I've decided I need to fix.
As I said before, It's so easy to fall into the "Domino effect". I see these patterns other places in my life as well. This also doesn't happen with positive things, but only negative. It's the typical flesh pushing the boundaries. Just one more. Just another one, it won't hurt. It's sin rearing its ugly head yet again.
It's ok to stop. It's ok to not repeat. It's ok to allow God to change you. It's can be a scary thing becoming a true child of God, but as we can see the rewards in heaven far outweigh the rewards you get here on earth.
I'm going to continue praying about this, and allowing God to change me in this way. Working to be conscious every time I fall into this habit. Over time we CAN change, and if we ask, God WILL change us. I pray that those of you who also fall into this temptation will look to Him for help.
Tune in tomorrow or possibly the next day for another installment in this topic, but more of a progression. I have a lot to say that I thought about over the weekend. As always, thanks for reading and see you next time!
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
More Thoughts
You know, there are many different steps to trusting God. I think everyone has a different path to that as well. For me it was getting out of my comfort zone. I actually had to fight to do this, as everyone and everything in my life was trying to keep me there. It was like uprooting a tree that had been in the soil for years and years and had a strong root system. It took awhile to finally pull the trigger on this, but I had known in the back of my mind for a good length of time that I needed a change.
I'm not talking about a vacation. I'm not talking about a change of scenery. I'm talking about that I felt my struggle with the flesh, and the battle for my spirit would die if I stayed where I was. I was TOO comfortable. It was TOO easy. I had been given everything I could ever want or need without doing any real work. While I believe most people would read that and starting thinking "what an idiot..." (I think that myself sometimes too, but for different reasons lol) I knew this was something I needed to do.
I'm talking about moving to Korea. To be completely honest it probably could have been anywhere in world and it would have had the same result. Most of you reading this already know why I chose Korea so I'm not going to repeat the super long story (it's not really all that long). If you really want to read it, there's a detailed description in my first post on here.
So much has happened since I came here, and I'm ultimately so grateful for this opportunity. It's been, by far, the best experience of my life to date and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Certainly, there have been positives and negatives - and there will be more of those to come - but it's all leading me to be a stronger man, and more importantly bringing me closer to God.
My last post was rather scathing, and I'll be the first to admit I was a tad bit heated up (actually I was really only a bit heated up). I think my purpose here is starting to be revealed to me. Originally I thought it was to help refugees from North Korea once the Kim regime is overthrown (and of course that may still be God's will), but the more time I spend here the more insight I get into Korean culture.
I'm going to focus on Korean culture here, but bear in mind all of our cultures are pretty messed up. It's just that growing up in American culture it's easy to be blind to a lot of our faults, and being passionate about Korean culture, it's easy to pick out flaws. In fact a lot of what I will talk about will probably be applicable to the world anyway so it's whatever.
First of all, I absolutely love it here. People are extremely hospitable, I honestly haven't detected any anti-foreigner or anti-American sentiments, but that could definitely be due to the way I look or what I'm doing here. Either way the main fabric of the community here is very well knit. People take care of each other naturally day to day, at least compared to what I felt in America. It feels good to be a part of.
A lot of it feels superficial though, while still feeling genuine. Let me explain because that's a silly statement. The culture has a resounding unspoken motto of "do good things and you're a good person". In fact that's exactly what Christianity here feels like. I have a feeling Confucianism has a lot to do with that. I have been told multiple times that the culture here has its roots in Confucianism. (Yes I did just link to wikipedia....twice. Deal with it.)
Briefly Confucianism is more of a school of thought than a religion. The belief is to focus more on family and social harmony than on anything supernatural. It's a very humanistic view. Also a major belief is that humans are innately good, and teachable, and ultimately perfectible with enough practice.
Well if this isn't in direct contradiction to the Bible then I don't know what is. Yet the two exist...together. It's clear which has a stronger hold right now. In my last post I mentioned how the largest megachurch in the world is in Seoul. There are a good amount of Christians here, but I feel that the true teachings of the Bible are being missed.
I've had a lot of time to think about it lately, and due to personal reasons of course I have focused a lot on forgiveness, but even besides that I believe that is a main tenet of the Bible. Love and forgiveness.
I feel that here the main belief is that the Bible is ultimately a book of rules to be a good person. Sure Jesus is great, sure God sounds awesome, but really people are good at heart, and therefore all we have to do is do good deeds and everything will be all good. This is such a popular belief, and I've heard this many times in America as well. Just be good to each other and leave each other alone. Very Confucianistic. Very Humanistic.
This couldn't be more contradictory to the main premise of the Bible. We are all sinners that deserve eternal hellfire. Let me repeat that, we are ALL sinners. Yes that includes the pope, yes that includes saint Mary, yes that includes everyone who has ever lived, or will ever live of course minus Jesus. Logically, what was the point of Jesus coming and dying if that's not the case? As he pointed out in the Gospel of Matthew even our thoughts are sinful.
This brings me to love and forgiveness. Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who wronged him. Jesus answered not 7 times, but 70 times 7 and even more. What a difficult teaching for humans! We are naturally full of vengeance. If someone wrongs us, we want to give them back twice or three times what they did to us! It's only fair right? We are the exactors of justice! Not quite. That is God's job. We should forgive, for "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7) None of us are perfect. We sin all the time. Therefore we should always forgive in love.
Think this is a hard teaching? How about the fact that it's easier to forgive those that you love, and love you. What about those who are unbelievers? How about those heathens and pagans that live in the third world? Surely they don't deserve our forgiveness. Wrong again. This is probably one of the most difficult things to do. I keep thinking back to Steven in scripture who while being stoned to death calls out to God and says "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." (Acts 7:60)
What an incredible act of faith! He believed so adamantly that A) God could ultimately save them even though they had murdered a disciple of "the way" and B) that if not, God would exact justice as only He can. I can only pray for this kind of faith at the moment. As I said yesterday I feel I am getting closer to this, but my flesh still flares up whenever I feel wronged and I can still lash out in anger rather than teach and forgive in love.
Back to my observations. Things are very Pharisaic here. Pharisee's believed that you would be saved through works. They proved this time and time again by praying in large crowded places to gain notoriety from people. They disfigured their faces when fasting, and ALWAYS gave 10% of everything to the church. They lived life perfectly by the "law" and therefore never really lived at all. Jesus condemned them saying "Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean." (Matthew 23:26).
Granted, like I said before this goes for a lot of sectors of Christianity in the world, and unfortunately where Christianity gets most criticized. So many teachings are that you can be saved through "good deeds" and not simply by the grace of Christ coming to die for our sins. It can't be that simple right? Like...all we actually have to do is believe that we are sinners and doomed for destruction, and that Jesus came down from heaven to die on the cross to cover those sins.
Thinking about this simple fact never fails to blow my mind. As I've said in previous posts to the point of tears while looking at the cross. What an incredible love. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you would die for them? How about people that sin against you literally all day everyday? I can maybe imagine dying for a friend or family member, but for someone who hates me and sins against me? Truly amazing.
There's so much else to say but this should suffice for now. Truly love is all encompassing, and can change people. It certainly has done that for me. I have felt Christ's love, and I am changed forever. I now strive to love others with the same love that He has shown me.
Thanks for reading!
I'm not talking about a vacation. I'm not talking about a change of scenery. I'm talking about that I felt my struggle with the flesh, and the battle for my spirit would die if I stayed where I was. I was TOO comfortable. It was TOO easy. I had been given everything I could ever want or need without doing any real work. While I believe most people would read that and starting thinking "what an idiot..." (I think that myself sometimes too, but for different reasons lol) I knew this was something I needed to do.
I'm talking about moving to Korea. To be completely honest it probably could have been anywhere in world and it would have had the same result. Most of you reading this already know why I chose Korea so I'm not going to repeat the super long story (it's not really all that long). If you really want to read it, there's a detailed description in my first post on here.
So much has happened since I came here, and I'm ultimately so grateful for this opportunity. It's been, by far, the best experience of my life to date and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Certainly, there have been positives and negatives - and there will be more of those to come - but it's all leading me to be a stronger man, and more importantly bringing me closer to God.
My last post was rather scathing, and I'll be the first to admit I was a tad bit heated up (actually I was really only a bit heated up). I think my purpose here is starting to be revealed to me. Originally I thought it was to help refugees from North Korea once the Kim regime is overthrown (and of course that may still be God's will), but the more time I spend here the more insight I get into Korean culture.
I'm going to focus on Korean culture here, but bear in mind all of our cultures are pretty messed up. It's just that growing up in American culture it's easy to be blind to a lot of our faults, and being passionate about Korean culture, it's easy to pick out flaws. In fact a lot of what I will talk about will probably be applicable to the world anyway so it's whatever.
First of all, I absolutely love it here. People are extremely hospitable, I honestly haven't detected any anti-foreigner or anti-American sentiments, but that could definitely be due to the way I look or what I'm doing here. Either way the main fabric of the community here is very well knit. People take care of each other naturally day to day, at least compared to what I felt in America. It feels good to be a part of.
A lot of it feels superficial though, while still feeling genuine. Let me explain because that's a silly statement. The culture has a resounding unspoken motto of "do good things and you're a good person". In fact that's exactly what Christianity here feels like. I have a feeling Confucianism has a lot to do with that. I have been told multiple times that the culture here has its roots in Confucianism. (Yes I did just link to wikipedia....twice. Deal with it.)
Briefly Confucianism is more of a school of thought than a religion. The belief is to focus more on family and social harmony than on anything supernatural. It's a very humanistic view. Also a major belief is that humans are innately good, and teachable, and ultimately perfectible with enough practice.
Well if this isn't in direct contradiction to the Bible then I don't know what is. Yet the two exist...together. It's clear which has a stronger hold right now. In my last post I mentioned how the largest megachurch in the world is in Seoul. There are a good amount of Christians here, but I feel that the true teachings of the Bible are being missed.
I've had a lot of time to think about it lately, and due to personal reasons of course I have focused a lot on forgiveness, but even besides that I believe that is a main tenet of the Bible. Love and forgiveness.
I feel that here the main belief is that the Bible is ultimately a book of rules to be a good person. Sure Jesus is great, sure God sounds awesome, but really people are good at heart, and therefore all we have to do is do good deeds and everything will be all good. This is such a popular belief, and I've heard this many times in America as well. Just be good to each other and leave each other alone. Very Confucianistic. Very Humanistic.
This couldn't be more contradictory to the main premise of the Bible. We are all sinners that deserve eternal hellfire. Let me repeat that, we are ALL sinners. Yes that includes the pope, yes that includes saint Mary, yes that includes everyone who has ever lived, or will ever live of course minus Jesus. Logically, what was the point of Jesus coming and dying if that's not the case? As he pointed out in the Gospel of Matthew even our thoughts are sinful.
This brings me to love and forgiveness. Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who wronged him. Jesus answered not 7 times, but 70 times 7 and even more. What a difficult teaching for humans! We are naturally full of vengeance. If someone wrongs us, we want to give them back twice or three times what they did to us! It's only fair right? We are the exactors of justice! Not quite. That is God's job. We should forgive, for "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7) None of us are perfect. We sin all the time. Therefore we should always forgive in love.
Think this is a hard teaching? How about the fact that it's easier to forgive those that you love, and love you. What about those who are unbelievers? How about those heathens and pagans that live in the third world? Surely they don't deserve our forgiveness. Wrong again. This is probably one of the most difficult things to do. I keep thinking back to Steven in scripture who while being stoned to death calls out to God and says "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." (Acts 7:60)
What an incredible act of faith! He believed so adamantly that A) God could ultimately save them even though they had murdered a disciple of "the way" and B) that if not, God would exact justice as only He can. I can only pray for this kind of faith at the moment. As I said yesterday I feel I am getting closer to this, but my flesh still flares up whenever I feel wronged and I can still lash out in anger rather than teach and forgive in love.
Back to my observations. Things are very Pharisaic here. Pharisee's believed that you would be saved through works. They proved this time and time again by praying in large crowded places to gain notoriety from people. They disfigured their faces when fasting, and ALWAYS gave 10% of everything to the church. They lived life perfectly by the "law" and therefore never really lived at all. Jesus condemned them saying "Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean." (Matthew 23:26).
Granted, like I said before this goes for a lot of sectors of Christianity in the world, and unfortunately where Christianity gets most criticized. So many teachings are that you can be saved through "good deeds" and not simply by the grace of Christ coming to die for our sins. It can't be that simple right? Like...all we actually have to do is believe that we are sinners and doomed for destruction, and that Jesus came down from heaven to die on the cross to cover those sins.
Thinking about this simple fact never fails to blow my mind. As I've said in previous posts to the point of tears while looking at the cross. What an incredible love. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you would die for them? How about people that sin against you literally all day everyday? I can maybe imagine dying for a friend or family member, but for someone who hates me and sins against me? Truly amazing.
There's so much else to say but this should suffice for now. Truly love is all encompassing, and can change people. It certainly has done that for me. I have felt Christ's love, and I am changed forever. I now strive to love others with the same love that He has shown me.
Thanks for reading!
Sunday, September 10, 2017
I haven't posted on here in awhile...
There have been a lot of changes going on in my life during the past few weeks and even months. Most of which I can't even talk about because they're not fully finished yet. I have been caught up with these and haven't really had the time or motivation to keep up with blogging. There have certainly been blog worthy moments, but nothing that I absolutely HAD to post.
Today though was different. I just need an outlet to vent. I can't keep this inside. I'm crushed. I'm absolutely crushed. The worst part is that it's a private matter so I can't even really explain. I have been praying a lot and wondering how this happened. It's kind of difficult to even put into words honestly, which is rare for me, but one thing this has spawned is a lot of thought on how we are meant to act and live as Christians.
I'm going to use Korean culture as an example because right now I'm inundated with it, but truly the entire world acts the same. Here maybe it's a little more obvious, but man if it isn't prevalent the world over. Korea is like social media in real life. Appearance is EVERYTHING. I'm not just talking about physical (though that is EXTREMELY important and sought after). Being successful here with your job/degree and therefore money is so important that people are literally giving up relationships and any thoughts of getting married and having children. Friendships are dropped by the wayside. Your career is your life, and Korea makes this possible.
I never thought I'd actually see a culture that willingly gives themselves to slavery like this. Certainly there have been slaves in the past, and we're all spiritual slaves to sin, but here is another story. The drive to appear perfect is incredible, and almost scary. It's Pharisaic and in direct contradiction to the Bible. Yet Korea has many many large churches and people that would tell you they're "Christian". They just don't live it. The faith is completely cerebral and not emotional. It doesn't get past head knowledge.
The world's largest church is here in South Korea with almost 1 million members. They have over 200,000 people in attendance every weekend. I'm not gonna even begin to speak on the size of the church and what that tends to do to people, right now I'm more concerned with the observed state of faith here.
I've been studying the Gospel through book on tape on all of my bus rides (which are rather long) and doing my best to take in the worlds of Paul and of course Jesus and really live by them. I certainly am doing my best not to judge people and other Christians on their faith, because honestly everyone is at a different part of their walk with Christ...but I just can't help my heart from breaking when I witness the lack of forgiveness and love here. From professed Christians!
I realize that probably a majority of professed Christians truly aren't followers of Christ, but just people who think the Bible is a good set of rules to live by and therefore being a good person is enough. This breaks my heart even more, because it leads to self-righteousness. People who think they're good because they have "good intentions" and "don't treat anyone poorly". Oh what a heart rending sight! Why does the truth evade them! What were they taught?! Who wove this fabric of untruth?! Clearly the Devil is skilled at his craft.
I saw a quote on Facebook the other day (I know, I know) that I believe was from Timothy Keller, and it was something to the effect of "you cannot truly forgive if you think you are above someone else, only when you put yourself on the same level as them can you forgive them". Boy is that quote ever ringing true in my life right now. As with Paul I am daily doing my best to lower myself to the depths of humanity in order to understand, and not feel superior to anyone. I'm not talking about doing illegal things and being bad to people. I'm saying taking my mentality a peg down, realizing that I am absolutely nothing. I am a broken and sinful man. No better than anyone else, and that my heart should; and is starting to be filled with sheer thankfulness and forgiveness, and ultimately love.
But how agonizing it is when other Christians who claim to have the same beliefs don't engage in the very same acts of love that Christ commanded us to give to each other! Forgive! 70 times 7! Especially those who do wrong to you. It's so much easier for those that love you, and that you love. But if you can't forgive even those who love you and that you love, what does that say for you? What kind of exacting person believes that they are so good that they cannot forgive?! Ahhh it's so frustrating! "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:2) Live it!
In the same breath, who am I to judge? Am I not also a sinner who overlooks his actions and thoughts all the time? Have I truly forgiven those that have wronged me? Especially the ones that love me, and that I love? The honest answer is no...but I'm getting closer. Much closer. Everyday I close in on that heart that Christ preached, that Paul had. I will get there. Therefore I can't truly expect anything from anyone else. In fact, all I can truly rely upon is God and the power of Christ dying on the cross for my sins. The fact that everyday I disgrace and dishonor the cross, yet he gladly and graciously covers my sins again. That's true forgiveness. That's true love. I can only hope to emulate that.
Writing this out definitely helps. Speaking out and typing out your thoughts really gets them out there to see if they can stand the test of the weight you put on them. In your head they are always in a safe zone where it's easy to just see your way.
No. I can't expect these things even from Christians, because everyone is at a different point at their walk with God. At the end of the day we're all humans, and at the end of the day we are all sinners. I will continue to spread that message, and pray that God touches the hearts of all that I talk to. Meanwhile growing my own spirit in confidence and meekness. Praying all the while that love and forgiveness win. Thanks for reading.
I'm so broken.
Edit: As an aside I should add that the Korean people as a whole are wonderful people, with great family relationships, generosity, and hospitality built into their culture. I absolutely love living here, and the people here have been nothing but lovely to me. I wanted to make clear that my remarks are geared towards Christians and how we are not living our faith.
Today though was different. I just need an outlet to vent. I can't keep this inside. I'm crushed. I'm absolutely crushed. The worst part is that it's a private matter so I can't even really explain. I have been praying a lot and wondering how this happened. It's kind of difficult to even put into words honestly, which is rare for me, but one thing this has spawned is a lot of thought on how we are meant to act and live as Christians.
I'm going to use Korean culture as an example because right now I'm inundated with it, but truly the entire world acts the same. Here maybe it's a little more obvious, but man if it isn't prevalent the world over. Korea is like social media in real life. Appearance is EVERYTHING. I'm not just talking about physical (though that is EXTREMELY important and sought after). Being successful here with your job/degree and therefore money is so important that people are literally giving up relationships and any thoughts of getting married and having children. Friendships are dropped by the wayside. Your career is your life, and Korea makes this possible.
I never thought I'd actually see a culture that willingly gives themselves to slavery like this. Certainly there have been slaves in the past, and we're all spiritual slaves to sin, but here is another story. The drive to appear perfect is incredible, and almost scary. It's Pharisaic and in direct contradiction to the Bible. Yet Korea has many many large churches and people that would tell you they're "Christian". They just don't live it. The faith is completely cerebral and not emotional. It doesn't get past head knowledge.
The world's largest church is here in South Korea with almost 1 million members. They have over 200,000 people in attendance every weekend. I'm not gonna even begin to speak on the size of the church and what that tends to do to people, right now I'm more concerned with the observed state of faith here.
I've been studying the Gospel through book on tape on all of my bus rides (which are rather long) and doing my best to take in the worlds of Paul and of course Jesus and really live by them. I certainly am doing my best not to judge people and other Christians on their faith, because honestly everyone is at a different part of their walk with Christ...but I just can't help my heart from breaking when I witness the lack of forgiveness and love here. From professed Christians!
I realize that probably a majority of professed Christians truly aren't followers of Christ, but just people who think the Bible is a good set of rules to live by and therefore being a good person is enough. This breaks my heart even more, because it leads to self-righteousness. People who think they're good because they have "good intentions" and "don't treat anyone poorly". Oh what a heart rending sight! Why does the truth evade them! What were they taught?! Who wove this fabric of untruth?! Clearly the Devil is skilled at his craft.
I saw a quote on Facebook the other day (I know, I know) that I believe was from Timothy Keller, and it was something to the effect of "you cannot truly forgive if you think you are above someone else, only when you put yourself on the same level as them can you forgive them". Boy is that quote ever ringing true in my life right now. As with Paul I am daily doing my best to lower myself to the depths of humanity in order to understand, and not feel superior to anyone. I'm not talking about doing illegal things and being bad to people. I'm saying taking my mentality a peg down, realizing that I am absolutely nothing. I am a broken and sinful man. No better than anyone else, and that my heart should; and is starting to be filled with sheer thankfulness and forgiveness, and ultimately love.
But how agonizing it is when other Christians who claim to have the same beliefs don't engage in the very same acts of love that Christ commanded us to give to each other! Forgive! 70 times 7! Especially those who do wrong to you. It's so much easier for those that love you, and that you love. But if you can't forgive even those who love you and that you love, what does that say for you? What kind of exacting person believes that they are so good that they cannot forgive?! Ahhh it's so frustrating! "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:2) Live it!
In the same breath, who am I to judge? Am I not also a sinner who overlooks his actions and thoughts all the time? Have I truly forgiven those that have wronged me? Especially the ones that love me, and that I love? The honest answer is no...but I'm getting closer. Much closer. Everyday I close in on that heart that Christ preached, that Paul had. I will get there. Therefore I can't truly expect anything from anyone else. In fact, all I can truly rely upon is God and the power of Christ dying on the cross for my sins. The fact that everyday I disgrace and dishonor the cross, yet he gladly and graciously covers my sins again. That's true forgiveness. That's true love. I can only hope to emulate that.
Writing this out definitely helps. Speaking out and typing out your thoughts really gets them out there to see if they can stand the test of the weight you put on them. In your head they are always in a safe zone where it's easy to just see your way.
No. I can't expect these things even from Christians, because everyone is at a different point at their walk with God. At the end of the day we're all humans, and at the end of the day we are all sinners. I will continue to spread that message, and pray that God touches the hearts of all that I talk to. Meanwhile growing my own spirit in confidence and meekness. Praying all the while that love and forgiveness win. Thanks for reading.
I'm so broken.
Edit: As an aside I should add that the Korean people as a whole are wonderful people, with great family relationships, generosity, and hospitality built into their culture. I absolutely love living here, and the people here have been nothing but lovely to me. I wanted to make clear that my remarks are geared towards Christians and how we are not living our faith.
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