I honestly don't remember a whole lot about it save for a few specific instances, and what I would call still shots in my mind. However, what they tell you about how long dreams actually last...maybe that's all it was anyway. I certainly don't remember it as vividly as some of the other dreams I've had, and there wasn't a surreal intensity like there has been in the past, but this one was still very interesting.
My purpose here was pretty obvious when I came. I was to work with special needs college students for a year, and grow in my personal relationship with God. Well, as that part of my journey comes to an end (the students go home for winter break in less than 2 months and I will likely be moving on in my life). I started to desire clarity on what my next step was.
What am I meant to do? Some people know what they want to do from the get go. They work and aim everything towards that goal. I truly envy that sometimes. I can honestly say I've never had that clarity in my life. My interests and goals are constantly shifting from one thing to the next. I enjoy a lot of different types of things, and I tend to learn things rather quickly so it's difficult to pinpoint one thing I enjoy above the others.
I'm not complaining, I rather enjoy being this way, however as I said sometimes it would be nice to have more direction. I suppose that's something that makes me unique though, and I should embrace it. Regardless, I have been praying for clarity in this matter as I tend to be a worrier about my future in the weirdest of ways (I used to take 3am walks around our neighborhood looking at the stars and just thinking. This started around the time I was 16).
I've definitely never had anything to worry about. I would more say I was wrestling with what I truly wanted to do. That eventually gave way to wrestling between the desires of this world, and pursuing a relationship with God and the gains that come with that. Well now that I've finally decided to let things here go and pursue Him 100% what do I do?
I mean there's not really a blueprint for it. Technically there is if you want to follow Jesus. Or Paul. But who really wants to do that? I mean that's crazy right? Go around preaching the Gospel and working on the side to pay your own expenses. Actually I've seriously thought about how to go about doing this multiple times. (Yes I am definitely crazy, I'll admit that.) I know that there are missionaries with this exact purpose, and I've been looking around to try and get involved with a group. So far nothing has stood out.
I don't think I discussed it but there was a missionary group here at the school a few weeks ago performing cultural dances and music. It was a fascinating show with primal drumming and all. The cultures covered were Fiji, Samoa, and New Zealand among others. I was really into it. I also met a bunch of the people involved after the show. I thought that was my sign, but have since cooled off. I will continue praying on that path.
However what I really want to get to in this post is my dream last night. As I stated before, I am a bit anxious about the next step after I leave the university here. I haven't really had any indication that I've recognized, but maybe that in itself is telling. Maybe I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to?
Last night before I went to sleep I asked the LORD to speak to me through dreams, so I could have a better understanding of what I was supposed to do. I have had super vivid "rapture" dreams before, and was initially a bit underwhelmed as I woke in the morning without such an experience. As I lay in bed trying to get the energy and will to sit up, I suddenly remembered I had asked God to speak to me in my dreams and I struggled to remember what I had just been dreaming about.
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| The typical rope ladder at a carnival. |
The rope ladder was in category 3 as a nearly impossible game. They said that if you had enough practice at it, you could eventually master it and win every single time. I guess subconsciously my mind thought this was a good metaphor for faith because that was one of the images in my mind. The science behind the rope ladder is that it's only secured at 1 point on each side instead of 2. This makes it almost impossible to keep your center of gravity in the right place. You have to keep it literally in a straight line from one point to the opposite point in order to not fall off.
Anyways, so in my dream I'm walking standing straight up on this rope ladder. Except instead of just rope, it was filled in with scripture. I was walking on living scripture on old parchment written in Hebrew, and as I stepped on each piece it would come alive, the paper would turn to gold and the letters would float off of the page upwards to envelop me. I also remember knowing that I could experience what Jesus was thinking and feeling at the time that he was alive while I was walking. I also remember that the supposedly unstable ladder was as stable as a treadmill when I was walking on it, which was surprising.
The other image I remember is that I was building a house. I was supervising the building, but I wasn't really there. I was more ethereal than anything I would say. I could see the house. It was a nice 2 story typical American single family home, but it was in large square blocks. Some of the blocks were turned 180 degrees and facing the wrong way. I had a crane at my disposal and directed the crane to pick up the block to the left of the door that was facing the wrong way and turn it 180 so it was the right way. There were a few other blocks turned like this, but I was on my way to fix them as well.
That's when I woke up. I think there are some obvious things to take from that, but also some pretty encrypted messages. If anyone has any interpretations I would definitely be open to it haha. I intend to keep praying for some indication, and I will continue to pay attention to my dreams since I know that is one way God communicates with us.
Also, I thought it was pretty awesome that I woke up to a Facebook message from my good buddy Gino who had promised to donate some hockey equipment to the kids here in Daegu who couldn't afford it. I am seriously excited about the opportunity to help them, and I look forward to getting involved. I'm not sure if that will be my final destination here, or I will just be passing through but it will be interesting to see a rink again nonetheless.
I'll keep all you guys updated, and I appreciate you coming to read! Also, while I'm not doing this to make a living, I do want to let everyone know that I was approved for an ad sense account through Google. This basically means that the newly added ads on my blog page now support me (to the tune of about 1 penny a click I believe). So while I'm not going to be working to promote myself or market this in any way, by all means click away lol. Thanks for reading!
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