I prayed a lot about having the discipline and desire to continue doing this. It's actually reaching a lot more people than I ever thought it would, and that is motivation enough, but a lot of times I struggle with knowing how long it's going to take to write a post, and never start. I guess that's the procrastinator in me. I might toy with doing short vlogs everyday as well, to try and keep the amount of writing I have to do to a minimum.
Anyways, that's all the background stuff. I had some pretty interesting subjects lined up for this post. The main one being my encounter with a spiritual being *Ooooo scary stuff!* Haha I do make light of it, simply due to the fact that when you come straight out and say "I was attacked by a demon" a lot of people grow pretty skeptical. In fact, I too am very skeptical about "mysticism" and things of spiritual nature, despite being a believing Christian.
When you don't ever see anything of that kind it's hard to really give it credence. However, I do know that sleep paralysis is real, and many people suffer from it. I truly feel for anyone suffering from this, because it's a terrifying and life changing condition. This encounter I had was during sleep and I was scared to go back to sleep for the rest of the day. I also couldn't get my mind off of the realness of it. As I said, my heart goes out to anyone who suffers from this chronically, and I hope they're able to get the relief they need.
Believing in God requires faith. We never see God. In fact no one truly has. However, there are definitely things that can help our belief from a logical standpoint. A lot of people - especially intellectuals - like to take a logical look at the Bible. Usually their conclusion is that it's a fairy tale that could never happen in real life. (If you're one of these people, PLEASE do yourself a favor and look up Jordan Petersen's mini-series on the Bible). I even linked it for you. Yes it is long, but this guy is truly the pinnacle of hyper-intellectualism.
Now I'm not advocating his belief at all. In fact I was pretty turned off from his way of looking at things. I think trying to prove something like God through "facts" that humans know is pretty trivial, I am merely providing some food for thought for those who may dismiss the Bible as fantasy. My belief is that God is real, and there's no amount of proof (besides of course Him showing Himself to us, which would in turn kill us all because He is too holy for us to be in His presence).
If you read the Old Testament you see that even HIS PEOPLE the Israelite's struggled with belief in a God that would do everything they asked. They turned away from Him multiple times to worship other God's. They were people just like us, and there would be no difference in our behavior. In fact I know that's the truth because I believe, and I still do it on a daily basis.
I've used my "car analogy" on here before, but it bears repeating. If you think of life as a car, and you're the driver. Whenever I take over the wheel I promptly begin to drive off the road. When I fall into that ditch on the side, I look up to heaven and say "God I'm sorry, you're right, you take over" and He drives me out of the ditch, and He puts me right back on the road. Then I get overconfident and say "God...I got this", and take over the wheel again, and of course where do I go? Right back off the road into a ditch.
That's the truth of human nature. Unbelief and doubt. Separation from God. It's a struggle to believe, and to come back to Him, and that's why He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. That provided the way back to God that we lost when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden of Eden.
Anyways, I'm lying in bed in my dorm room. All of a sudden my dream switches to an old cathedral type house. I'm in the attic lying on a bed on my side, and the roof is a very high triangle shape. There are floor to ceiling windows and the room is very small and made of wood. I'm aware of a door behind my head. The door opens and shuts and all of a sudden the blackest shades fall down over the windows (that had previously had sunlight coming through them) like flags unfurling. At the same time the lights immediately shut off. I'm in complete and utter darkness, and now I'm paralyzed on my bed. I can't move anything even though I am struggling to even open my eyes. Through sheer determination I was able to get my left eye open just a crack and could see some kind of fuzzy looking entity moving around.
It took me a few moments to actually get a grasp on what was happening, but as soon as I realized I was in sleep paralysis and this was a demon attacking me, I began to repeat in my head (because I couldn't open my mouth) "I am a child of the God of Israel". This seemed to infuriate the spirit who started moving around faster around the outside of the bed like it was looking for a place to attack. Eventually, it disappeared for a short time and then rushed straight at my face. Just before it made contact with me it dissipated and the shades came up and the lights went on and I could immediately move and talk again.
As you can see this would be a pretty terrifying experience. Especially for someone who didn't know what was going on. I had actually talked to my pastor about sleep paralysis maybe a week before this during a Bible study, which reminded me of its existence. I pray for those experiencing this. I also know that there are conditions which are a much worse form of sleep paralysis. Where people actually have their eyes forced open and can't tell the difference between dream and reality, and can actually see demons in their natural form.
I believe that God allowed this to happen, for a few reasons. One, so that I can tell all of you here about my experience. Proof that a spiritual world exists that we almost never see, and never think about. Two, to encourage me personally that I have the protection of Christ, and that is real. I think it's very easy to play the victim card, especially these days. Asking "why me" is a natural reaction, but a selfish one in my opinion. I look at Job in the bible for inspiration. A man who had everything, and God allowed Satan to take all he had from him, yet his faith still didn't waver. I strive to be like that no matter my circumstances, and this experience helps me to see that God is always with me, no matter what.
Ok! So! On a happier note. (I'm sharing this to Facebook so I'm assuming all my readers have seen the pictures) but I WAS SANTA FOR CHRISTMAS. Actually, I was Santa quite a few times for events over the course of a few weeks. It was a pretty interesting experience. Sometimes I was chosen to work a station and teach, but other times I was chosen just to take pictures with kids for like 2 hours. Reactions ranged from taking pictures with young female teachers who were excited to get their picture taken with "fancy Santa" to kids being put on the bench next to me and immediately bawling their eyes out. Haha it all made for quite the Christmas spirit. In case you haven't seen it, here is an "intense" look from "fancy Santa"
Anyways, I'm gonna cut it there for today. Now that I'm settled in my new apartment, and having a bit of break from work I'll be looking to post more often. Wishing everyone a safe and happy New Year! As always, thank you for reading and post any comments/questions/concerns! Thanks!
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