Review of "18th Multi-Ethnic Intensive Training"

Hello everyone! I finally got some time to post about the missionary meeting that I went to. This was called the '18th Multi-Ethnic Intensive Training', and was a pretty interesting experience overall. I've been pretty critical of Korea recently and I want to be positive because they do definitely deserve credit. I think it's just easier to pick out things you see when you're on the outside. Things stick out more.

So let me start out by saying that they absolutely know their stuff here. The presentation that was put together squeezes a TON of gospel knowledge into just a 3 day intensive training. Everyone received a binder with notes and charts demonstrating what amounted to a gospel system for use in evangelizing. Every single point was backed up with multiple Bible verses. As I said, it was all very impressive.

I went to a church about an hour and a half away from where I'm living called 하나교회 (Hana Gyohwae) or One Church with some guys from school here. This place is HUGE. Yet it's hidden in plain sight. Right off of one of the main roads, and maybe 100 yards from a major subway station. I wouldn't call it a mega-church, it's not that big...but it's surprisingly big for where it is.

The schedule was jam packed from the time we got there on Thursday around 5pm, until the time we left on Saturday around 5pm. I will post pictures of the schedule and binder lower in this post. The format was basically, an hour lecture, followed by an hour small group forum, followed by another hour lecture, followed by another forum, etc. Since we lived so far away also, we slept at the church with the other men who came. We were put in a room on the opposite side of the church from where the lectures were being held in what looked like a break room, and we slept on the floor.

I'm not complaining about the accommodations, just trying to give everyone an idea of what we did. There were more than enough blankets and pillows for everyone, and a bathroom that was easily accessible. They locked the doors at 10:30pm, and since the day ended at 10pm, we had a few minutes to run to the convenient store for a snack or two if we wanted before bedtime. There ended up being around 83 Koreans, and 26 foreigners who attended. I met people from China, Nepal, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Ukraine, Russia, Spain, Philippines, Cambodia, and of course Korea. The two languages spoken were Korean, and English.

As the pastor spoke, there was a Korean woman who translated what he said into English. She worked so hard, what an awesome job she did. She was also the leader of my small group so I got to know her over the few days we were together, and that was nice. I also had some inspiration for a blog post while I was listening to the first lecture so I'll probably just fold that into this post wherever it fits. Actually here would probably be good.

As there were a good number of Africans at this meeting, (and me having never actually met an African person) I started thinking about how they had received the Gospel, and how it had evolved. I had many questions such as "How many people read the Gospel for the first time and think good deeds are the way to salvation?" I reasoned that the answer was probably not many. If you truly read the words of Jesus it's clear that believing in Him is the way to salvation. On the other hand though "How many people are fooled into thinking that way due to the current Christianity trends?" I would be willing to bet a lot of people. I can imagine a lot of the messages that come across on Sundays are akin to 'do good', and 'be good.

I started to ponder on what preachers preach on in the U.S. and asked myself if they drive home that Jesus preached on cleaning the inside of the cup first and therefore the outside will be clean? Or do they preach on deeds and the "symptoms" of being a Christian? I even drew a mini chart equating modern medicine with Christianity. A lot of these new pharmaceuticals you see treat one problem you may have, but give you 5 more issues. What's worse is that they don't even treat what is causing the problem, they just mask it. In the same way, I see the church going in the same direction. The general consensus is that there is a list of things to do, and that makes you a Christian. Obviously we have the 10 commandments, but as a modern society I feel that list has grown to include things like "Don't use profanity", and "Be a nice person", and "Don't drink" etc. Truly a lot if not all of these things could be completely fixed by reaching the root of the problem. A separation from God.

I then pondered what the message was in the other parts of the world? What do they focus on in Korea? Is global Christianity (one giant church where everyone agrees on the same things) a good thing, or a bad thing? What about cultural Christianity? Is cultural Christianity more effective? I.E. does it appeal to different cultural factors? For example would preaching about a more emotional side of the gospel be better for America, versus here in Korea where a more legalistic atmosphere is being shaped. I can't honestly remember everything I was thinking about when I wrote that down so I won't be able to be more clear than that, but I will get more into that topic later on anyway. Lastly, there are many different revelations from many different people all over the world. No one has the entire revelation, there are just pieces here and there from God, of course our belief in God would lend itself to trusting that He will reveal what needs to be revealed to people that will be most effective in their teaching.

So I mentioned briefly about the true root of the problem. Our separation from God. That was the main point of the initial lecture, and there is even a giant chart that this pastor has made about it. This chart details original sin, and attempts to show how our separation from God has created all the problems that we have in this day and age. Some examples are mental issues (ADHD, depression, etc), and also physical problems, but even societal issues as well. The answer obviously being Jesus and the re-implementation of the Gospel, and the resulting changes of heart because of it. As I said before, this was incredibly well thought out and supported through the Bible, and I think a great tool for any Christian to have this knowledge....I sense a but coming here...

BUT. Well, I started getting bored over the course of the few days. I found myself having difficulty concentrating (part of that was probably the diet...they fed us carbs and sugar for every meal). Most people were having trouble staying awake after each meal. Also, according to the pastor he goes to all of these other countries to train people and never thinks about the food, just his work teaching so we shouldn't worry about the food either, just focus on the gospel. I'm not sure what he was trying to get across here as many some of it was lost in translation, but it came off a bit pompous to me. Whatever, that's not all that important, though I would hope a guy who's doing all this work for God would be humble.

That wasn't my "but" actually, lol. I felt I had to give some background for what I'm going to say. I'm really starting to learn the lay of the land here in Korea. I've been told by multiple pastors that I should go back home to the U.S. to evangelize, and that I can be the "light" of America. Somehow by myself. I was thinking why they would be telling me that when it's clear there are issues here that need to be fixed, and I was under the impression that I was sent here by God to help this area.

However when you hear from multiple pastors that you should go back home, of course you're going to perk up your ears and wonder. So I prayed about it. I still don't completely have an answer, though I will admit at this point I wouldn't mind going home for awhile. I definitely had an easier lifestyle there haha, but God's will be done, not mine. Anyways I think I got my answer when this pastor started talking about how instead of Koreans going to evangelize the world, he wants to take the foreigners that come to Korea and train them, then send them back to their own countries to evangelize there. I mean logically there's nothing wrong with this. It saves money, and trains people to send out on missions. I just see a lot of things here that need fixing, and kept thinking that you need to remove the plank in your own eye so you can see clearly to remove the speck of sawdust from your brothers eye. I'm sure that could be flipped around and asked of me as well, but I'm doing my best to remove my own, and God is helping me.

I really have so much to say on this subject and I don't know if I honestly want to take the time to detail it all here. I was originally going to do a vlog post afterwards since I knew I had so much to say, but I couldn't coherently put my thoughts together so I thought typing it out would give me more time to think and be clear.

So. Lets get to the "but". This is the main underlying point of everything. I am seeing a very legalistic Christianity here. (Not that it isn't the same other places) However, it seems that Koreans feel the Gospel should be drilled into your head with logistics. This pastor has literally reduced the gospel to a "system" of charts and memorized Bible verses. He wants people to go out and evangelize with this. I ABSOLUTELY agree that we need to have knowledge from the scripture to back up our belief, but you don't just walk up to people with your handy charts ready to draw out and logically explain your belief in God. Our belief is simply not logical. That's why it's called faith. You have to be willing to believe that an all powerful God sent Himself (His Son) down here to be a man, to be killed by us sinners so that we would be saved. Like on the surface how crazy is that?

The bigger foul here in my opinion is that it robs the cross of its power. The cross is a completely life changing revolutionizing event, and truly what our entire religion stands upon. The fact that Jesus came here to die for you because he LOVED YOU that much. Not because you're a good person, no, none of us are that. In fact it was the "good people" of our society that ended up having Him killed. (The pharisees and temple priests etc). No He came in order that us sinners, that spit in His face every single day by continuing in our sin, would be saved. I don't know about you but I sin constantly and yet He still came for me. How many of us would die for our best friends sins, let alone the sins of people who hate us and are our enemies?

THAT'S how much He loves us, and I really feel that is being taken out of the equation here, and that's very dangerous. Now you may be saying to yourself, well what's wrong with having some backup for tough situations when cynical people ask you the inevitable "prove God exists" or some innocuous gotcha question that non-believers always seem to be trying to conjure up? Of course there's nothing wrong with that. I already said earlier we should be educated on our own faith, but our own testimony is the most weighty thing we can depart to another person. That reinforces the fact that LOVE is at the top of this totem pole. The one thing that matters, and keeps all of this together. It's so important in fact that Paul outlines this saying "¹ Though I command languages both human and angelic -- if I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal clashing.
² And though I have the power of prophecy, to penetrate all mysteries and knowledge, and though I have all the faith necessary to move mountains -- if I am without love, I am nothing.
³ Though I should give away to the poor all that I possess, and even give up my body to be burned -- if I am without love, it will do me no good whatever." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

So tell me. What are you? Are you out there banging the streets with your Bible telling others how they need to repent? Or are you sharing your own broken experiences to help others understand that Christianity isn't about being righteous. That's merely a bonus of having your life radically changed by Christ's sacrifice. No, it's about being open and honest, as a child is. Just like the Bible says. "The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Little children.

What if this pastor wants to do both? A great question, and I would hope that is the case. It wasn't openly said in this meeting, but the vibe was definitely that this was the best way to evangelize people. In fact the pastor said multiple times that other nations didn't have the "real" gospel, because they didn't have it outlined and supported like this. That really set off alarms with me. What a strange thing to say. He gave a few examples that were true (I don't want to completely discredit him, he had a reason for saying it a few times) such as in Ethiopia they believe that children don't have sin, so when he went there and preached that they were shocked.

The insinuation otherwise was quite different. In fact the leader of my small group who is the main interpreter for the pastor told me straight to my face that this system was a better way of evangelizing than being open and honest with people talking about my own experiences supported with the Gospel. There was a lot of "Oh I used to do that, but now I..." sentences. As I said before, I really hope it's all a misunderstanding and we're all fighting for the same thing. The problem is the motivations are different. Legalistic Christianity produces more legalistic Christianity and that produces churches like we have now. One that want to throw money at problems instead of do something about them.

Think about it, what kind of believer would these charts win over? Someone who is more interested in the logistics of proving something in their mind and to others, over the belief of feeling God's love, and operating off of true trust in Him. Some of this stuff is pretty slight in how it's presented, but as I said the motivation for it is what matters. As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Putting God and His will first is the only way to truly achieve what He wants, for that comes out of the love and trust in Him. Those that feel His love will know how unconditional it is, and the more your own sins are forgiven, the more likely you are to forgive others which is exactly what Jesus commands. "41“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,^c and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”" (Luke 7:41-42)

I even had a conversation with a close buddy about this recently on how much easier it is to forgive others, and even encourage them after they mess up when you realize and are honest with yourself and God about how broken you actually are. Instead of condemnation for your fellow broken believing brother, you offer words of encouragement and sympathy knowing that likely you'll be there again soon as well. This is why the embodiment of the Gospel and not a legalistic logical view is so important.

All of the foreigners had to go up and give a speech on what they had learned during the training. I didn't really feel like lecturing on anything in particular so I kinda of winged it. I asked the Holy Spirit to speak through me and I ended up settling on the topic of Jesus' ascendance back to heaven. (There are 4 parts of Jesus' sacrifice according to this pastor and ascendance is the third). Anyways, my main message was "Love" as I felt that this was completely missed during the entire thing. In fact as I spoke, I wrote only the word "Love" on the board in big capital letters. (All the other presenters had been trying to draw the charts they had learned). I really hope that this made an impression on the people listening. I had a few guys come up to me after and tell me they thought I did really well, and one guy even told me that what I said was really important for the exact reasons I've been stating. It's so easy for that main message to get lost when everything is focused on beating systems and charts into your head.

I think that's all the main stuff I wanted to talk about. I hate to be so critical, because I truly love the culture and people here, but God has transformed me into someone who is open and honest and doesn't care what people think about me anymore. I have to call it like I see it. I'm continually praying for the people here, and I hope that God will show me how I can make a difference for them.

I actually will have another post pretty soon, because there's been a lot going on in my mind lately so look for that! Here are the pictures I promised, plus a bonus picture of me presenting my "Love" presentation! Thanks guys!

Bonus Pic! Big Carl in action!

Our Schedule

Dominoes Part 4

I think a lot of people enjoy saying they're a Christian, and the false feeling of endorphins they get when they think they are doing "good". I've had this talk with many people before, but no one does good for others without getting something out of it themselves. Even giving a few dollars to a homeless person on the corner. What do you get out of it? I'll bet you feel like a good person for the rest of the day. Maybe the rest of the week/month.

Unfortunately, the truth is that we are not good, and will never be good. Can you accept this fact? Jesus clearly makes it plain in Matthew when he talks about the multitude of sins we commit in our hearts everyday that weren't previously even thought of. What other sins are we constantly committing if prior to this we weren't even considering internal thoughts as sin?

Let me ask you this. Do you have to teach a child to be selfish, or to share? Do you have to teach them how to be mean, or how to say kind things to others? As much as we'd like to think otherwise, we are all broken, sinful humans who succumb to the temptations of the flesh. Accept this, and you will be changed!

Ok, changed into what? Some superhuman person who never does any wrong? The pope? That'd be sweet right? Sorry guys, I got bad news for you. Even the pope is a sinner. In fact everyone who has ever lived is a sinner, except Jesus. You won't be transformed into a perfect person. In fact, those who think entry to heaven is achieved through works are Pharisaic, and dead wrong. You CANNOT and WILL NOT get to heaven by "doing good" because the law says to do it, or even because the good guys in the Bible did it.

Read what Jesus says about the Pharisees and how they attempted perfection on the outside, but were full of garbage on the inside. Bitter and self righteous because they "knew" and did better than everyone else. What a horrific life! So unfulfilling! Like someone who always follows the rules, never sneaks out to a party at night. Never tries something they're not supposed to. As Paul says, the law of humans is there for the unbelievers, not the righteous. That's because we live by God's law.

Am I advocating breaking the law? No, but the illustration needs to be made that the motivation is the key. You need to be so overwhelmed by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for you, that you're moved to change. You clean the inside first, and the outside becomes clean as a result. You realize that Jesus loves you so much that you WANT to be different for Him. You stop desiring what the world desires, and you realize that heavenly treasures are what you want.

So now we're back to prayer and honesty. When I started attending ODM my Korean church back in Chicago, something changed in me. I didn't care what people thought about me anymore. I was going to be honest. About everything in my life. Not because I didn't care about people, but because I knew God would use my struggles to help others with their walks.

Most people are so afraid of ridicule and failure that they put up a facade of having things together and their "social media" perfect life. What does this lead to? A world full of people that don't want to be honest with each other, and are therefore held at arms length from each other. Never truly realizing that THEY'RE ALL STRUGGLING WITH THE SAME STUFF. We are all struggling with the same types of things guys, and the only way we can overcome that is to be open and honest with each other...and more importantly, God.

This should be the easiest thing in the world considering we already know that God knows everything about us, including what's in our hearts. So what's stopping us from just telling Him what He already knows? It takes time, but it's important to start. If you truly have accepted Jesus as your Christ and Savior, then it's time you gave Him your heart and honesty along with it. Allow Him inside you, allow Him to change you.

The next part has to do with who we pray to. Do we pray to Jesus or to God? Who gets the glory? Does it matter? Aren't they the same? Well the trinity is definitely a difficult subject, and even more difficult to wrap your head around sometimes. Sometimes the best way to accept it is just through faith and not logic. I had a conversation with a fellow Christian about the trinity recently and they kept asking how Jesus could be God, if Jesus was God's son?

What an excellent question from a logical standpoint. The only real way to explain this properly is to say that Jesus was always and is always with God. However He is a separate part of God sent down to take our sins away. The same way the Holy Spirit is God, yet a separate part. All three of these parts obviously make up the trinity. I have not received revelation regarding the trinity, so maybe someone else with more learning than I will be able to explain better logically. That's my best explanation along with the fact that we're not meant to understand a lot of what God is or does. Just that we have faith that He is who He says He is, and He does what He says He does.

So the answer to the above question is that we pray to God the Father. We pray to the Father THROUGH the Son. Jesus came as an intercessory so that we could continue to have a relationship with the Father. Jesus became the sacrifice so that we wouldn't need to slaughter any more lambs or bulls or calves. Now we can still talk to God through prayer and have a relationship with Him despite our wickedness. Jesus makes all this possible. He is certainly worthy of praise, however we are to go to the Father in prayer.

Why is this so important since they're the same God? Well, as we see in the Bible, even Jesus prays to God and calls Him the father. (I'm linking this as an example of the passion of Christ's prayers, and how we should pray as well. With emotion! Like a child to our father) If that's not enough for you right there, think about the Old Testament. Who made the covenant with the Jews? God the Father. Who made the covenant with Abraham? God the Father. He is the pinnacle and the ultimate creator. Of course this isn't to say Jesus or the Holy Spirit is any less. The key here is not to get into semantics, but to realize what our purpose is here, and accept that our relationship is to be with the Father through the Son washing away our sins, and cleansing us.

Lastly, let's talk about the church and her purpose. I say "Her" because as Jesus said, he came to prepare her as a bride to be married to the groom (God). Not sexually, but as a relationship. As I discussed before. THIS IS HOW MUCH GOD DESIRES A RELATIONSHIP WITH US. If you believe the book we base our faith on, then you believe that God sent His Son, or part of Himself down to earth to be murdered for us! Us! That sin everyday! That lie and cheat and steal everyday! He did this knowingly and yet still went down for us. THAT'S how much He loves us. Get over yourself and start a relationship with the Father today. Close your bedroom door. Get a pillow and get down on your knees and just open a conversation with Him. You'd be surprised what comes out, and eventually what grows in you.

A quick final thought on this subject. It's very easy to be pulled into praying only for ourselves. (God give me money and a good job etc, or even just good health, or save my aunt who has cancer). But remember we are here to glorify Him. Ask Him to give you those things so you can glorify Him through you! Remember Him when He gives you what you ask for! Slowly but surely you too will be unable to talk about anything else but your loving relationship with our God. The creator of the universe. What a transformation for the church this could be if even 10% of "Christians" were to do this. We would begin to be worthy of being a bride for the one and true God.

As always, thanks for reading! I'm sorry it was so long, but it was necessary. I'm going to an intensive missionary meeting October 5th-7th so pray for me. I'll let you know what goes on! Talk to you all soon.

Dominoes Part 3

Our church has become a superficial one. Our Bible has become a list of things that make you a good person. Our Christians have become lame, and impotent. I feel that a LOT of this has to do with honesty.

I wondered as I took in the sermon on Sunday, how many people in this church (or any church for that matter) would honestly be able to put up their hands if I asked who had personal time with God everyday. I'm talking about real personal time getting to know Him.

Think about your best friend. How did they become your best friend? Did you just meet once and know? Then you never hung out again? Absolutely not. Of course some people fall for each other quicker than others in relationships, but the point is you HAVE to spend time with someone in order to grow a relationship with them. It's imperative, that's how humans work. (I remember an astounding fact from one of my psychology courses stating that if a man and a woman were stuck on a desert island together they would eventually fall in love with each other no matter what happened even despite attractiveness being extremely different). You grow attached to the people/things you spend time with. That's why your phone is YOUR phone, and no one else better touch it. It represents so much time and effort. People are the same way, and guess what? A relationship with God is no different.

Who spends enough time getting to know God each day? Who spends enough time building a relationship, and falling in love with Him? I know I don't. It's truly impossible if you think about how we SHOULD be. However, God so loves us that even a few minutes a day will reap incredible rewards.

Ok so how do we do that? Well by prayer of course silly head! You know, I've taken Jesus' advice lately and I've started closing the door to my room, and getting on my knees when I pray. Absolutely you can use a pillow if you have a hard floor, this isn't about sacrifice.

Right! So we got prayer! But...but...HOW do we pray? THIS IS SO VERY IMPORTANT I CAN'T EMPHASIZE IT ENOUGH. When's the last time you cried out to God? In anger? In frustration? In praise? In love? With any kind of emotion at all?! When's the last time you really let Him KNOW your heart? Let's put aside the fact for a second that God is omniscient. When you're in a relationship with someone, you HAVE to communicate in order to grow the relationship. If you never go deeper than niceties then what kind of relationship is that? That's a superficial relationship that WILL GO NOWHERE.

Therefore, what do we do? Well, luckily my church has been reading through Psalms lately, so we have had a chance to see King David's prayers in action. That's right, the Bible has blueprints for you. From the man who's heart is after God's own heart. "“After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.‘" (Acts 13:22) Yep, you read that right...you can literally see what David prayed. ESPECIALLY in times of trouble.

Wasn't David like, this super awesome amazing superhuman dude who we could never hold a candle to? Nope. Sure he became king due to divine intervention, but God doesn't require perfection. He wants love, adoration, rightful praise, and above all else a relationship...WITH YOU.

King David was certainly a great king and believer, but he did some terrible stuff too. The key was, all the while, he TRUSTED and confided in God. His prayers are so deeply honest it's awesome to read. It's like a little child complaining to his father and wanting him to fix everything for him.

So what do you think? Do we follow the blueprint that's been laid in front of us by our current church? Sanitized prayer, and words without action? Or should we try to be more like king David, and in turn more like Christ? We should pray with complete and utter honesty. Asking for what we want from God. Giving Him His due praise. Building a relationship with Him. He WILL answer. He has for me, and He will for you too.

Keep in mind this will happen on His timeline, but be on the lookout for an answer to what you're asking for. It may not be the way you expect it to be, but if you truly desire His will, then it will workout better than you could have ever planned.

That's the thing guys. This is all a process right? Who's ready to just fall head over heels in love with God and rip open their chest in prayer everyday right after they learn about God? I would be willing to bet it's not many people. It takes quite awhile to process the incredible sacrifice that Jesus made in coming here for us.

That's why it's a relationship that you have to build. You need to spend time with Him everyday. Learning to open up and be honest. Letting Him change you. Little by little. Just like if you were a body builder. You don't pick up weights and you're automatically jacked. It takes time, and you need to work for it everyday.

If you truly want it, He will change you. That's what we should be desiring. God changing us into what He wants us to be. Men and women of God who are true disciples, and willing to do His will. It's a scary prospect to give up your own desires and goals in life. To let someone else steer the car of life. However, if you REALLY believe God is who He says He is, well then there's no better chauffeur.

One more after this! Almost there!

Dominoes Part 2

Ok so this part is a progressive post from the last one. It will incorporate and elaborate on some of the thoughts, but it's mostly new material. I assume this will be a pretty lengthy post so I might end up even breaking it up into sub-posts but we will see.

As of last Sunday I hadn't been to church in about a month. Between the fact that it takes about an hour and a half to get to my church by public transportation, and traveling, plus some personal things that needed to be taken care of, I had neglected my attendance. Obviously this wasn't on purpose but my time is pretty restricted these days, so Sundays are sometimes the only free time I get.

Anyways, missing church for that long really reminded me how very much we all need fellowship and to be in God's house. It may not seem like it, but wow does sin slip in fast. Subtle change in views become big changes over time, and left unchecked can really threaten our faith.

Case and point, I'm in the market for a new phone and car now. Both are necessary at this point, and I'm working on saving the funds necessary for these purchases. I'm looking at a used car in the range of 7-9k or so as I'm planning on being here awhile and I would like something nice. I'm also looking at the galaxy note 8 phone. (I want to keep my American number so a new phone would be necessary, I looked into other options like Google voice and a Skype number but they just aren't feasible in my situation).

A little background on me. I was brought up with all the best equipment. I wasn't spoiled...I knew the value of what I had, but my parents had the motto "an artist is only as good as his tools". I grew up playing hockey, and for everyone who knows hockey reading this, equipment isn't cheap. I always had the best of the best, and I have grown accustomed to this. Would a burner phone work? Of course. Would a rust bucket car that goes from point A to point B safely work? Of course.

This brings up a great theological discussion. I think there are very valid arguments on both sides of this. As Christians where do "material belongings" fit in for us? Jesus lived broke and homeless. Paul was pretty close to this as well. Though there are times Paul says he lacked nothing, and lived pretty well.

There are other men in the Bible who were extremely wealthy. (King David, and King Solomon, as well as Job). These men lacked nothing. Obviously they had the means to have whatever they wanted. However, I would guess the truth lies in the motivation. Having a nice car/phone in order to garner attention from others is a sinful outlook, but having them out of necessity would be acceptable.

In my head I then wonder about what Paul said about "becoming all things to all people in order to win them". If I'm to be in the world of hockey, and teaching business men would having those things give me more credibility? Is that even what Paul meant? It's a legitimate question, and likely one that ends with not having the expensive things because it's easy to get caught up in that.

I don't think it's a sin to have things you can afford because God gives you the means to do so. However, the key is to not be attached to these "things". Understand that they are merely tools to be used for the kingdom. God can take everything away from you tomorrow (see the book of Job).

This is much easier said than done. All of this has been a background to my church visit last Sunday and the thoughts that have been going through my head. I seem to have revelation every time I go to church these days, and honestly I should probably be doing much more of it. The things I think of when I'm in God's house are very simple, yet profound. I find myself wanting to share more and more the deeper I go into Him. I find myself wanting to speak in church, and go on mission trips.

These things were never my desires before, but when God takes over your life you just can't help yourself. People tend to talk about what their heart desires. For some it's cars, for others it's men/women, yet others it's money. I am beginning to turn from all of that to talking about God, and it's scary and awesome. Scary because I know the sacrifice required for truly living as Christ does, but I am fully willing and looking forward to accepting that. Awesome because I used to think people that only wanted to talk about God were boring and lame, and now I'm starting to understand it.

I had a conversation with the pastor on Sunday 1 on 1. He pulled me aside and asked if we could talk. I was really excited because I had plenty I wanted to say to him since I had started attending this particular church. He may have been worried since I hadn't been to church in a month or so, and wanted to check in with me. His English was actually pretty good, good enough to have a conversation that we both understood.

He started by asking me how I liked the church. To which I answered that I liked it very much, and that from the first time I walked in I felt the Holy Spirit was at work. I also feel that each time I hear his sermon it's something that I need to hear, and that's very important. He was very happy to hear that and launched into an explanation of his theological beliefs and his vision of the church.

The main points that he mentioned were a church like the one in acts. A small church where people live and act as Christians. He also mentioned pushing people to be disciples since the Great Commission is something that we need to strive for.

I was happy to tell him that I agreed with everything he had to say. I am very in favor of home churches. I think it's extremely important to have fellowship with a small group of people. That way you have intimacy. You are involved in people's lives. You know what struggles they are going through, and what they need and you can fulfill those needs. That gets lost in large congregations. I also agree that we need to send out disciples to all nations. The only problem is that no one is teaching HOW to be a disciple. I know the desire is there, but the knowledge is missing.

I finally got the chance to tell the pastor how I felt about the G12 conference that we went to. I didn't like it. I think the idea can be a good one, but the way it's executed is pretty bad. There's a lot of prosperity gospel being preached, and only motivational speeches on being a good disciple, no teaching on HOW to do that.

I remember talking with my buddy Matt Gates about this during the conference, and he echoed those sentiments. Many people are saying "Go and make disciples of all nations" but no one is teaching how! I'm hoping that these revelations I'm having can help with this issue.

So then you ask, what are these revelations I've been having? Well as I said, they're pretty simple, yet profound. I'm hoping that these thoughts can help even one person, that would make things worth it, but even not at this point I know these will help me teach others in the future.

I will continue this post so as to not let it be too long!

Dominoes Part 1

I'm going to break this post into 2 parts because it's going to be long. It's also many thoughts so I think it's pretty necessary. There's been a lot going on in my thoughts, and my relationship with God so I thought it important to write it out for you guys. Without further adieu, here we go.

The main thought of this post is "The domino effect of sin". This post obviously pertains mostly to my life considering these are my personal thoughts on the subject, but I would be willing to bet that others have this particular issue as well.

What I mean is that I go along my merry way during the week and feel that I'm doing a pretty good job of avoiding sin (I know this isn't the case, but at least conscious sins), and then I let the flesh win a battle. I say let because truly God does not tempt us beyond our ability to withstand temptation. This may consist of anything such as drinking too much on a given night, or eating too much during a meal.

The result is that this sets off a ripple effect of doing things that I probably wouldn't normally otherwise do. Much like how a "diet" is ruined for the week if you cheat once, and you have to wait until next Monday to get back on track so you might as well just cheat the rest of the week. (I know you guys know what I'm talking about).

I was talking to my buddy Matt Tolbert about this back when I was living in Chicago. It's extremely easy to get into the mindset of "well I sinned so I might as well do the other things I wanted to do during this time of failure". We don't realize that we are expected to sin, and ultimately it is KNOWN by God that we will sin before we even do it. We are not saints. We should not feel the need to be that way either.

Christianity has been twisted into an unrecognizable reflection of its former self. Sure, Christ is still there. Sure, the Bible is still there. But how many people do you know in the church that LIVE how Christ did? (No I'm not saying homeless and broke) but truly learning to love someone for them, not their status or material wealth, and practicing the tenets of love and forgiveness no matter what the price.

Brennan Manning used to say "Christ loves you how you are, and not as you should be". Let that sink in. As. You. Are. Right now. Even after you got mad at the bad driver in front of you coming home from work. Even after you thought about what types of material wealth you could gather if you were Bill Gates. Even after you had pre-marital sex. Even after you lusted after someone on the street. Even after you were prideful in your self-righteousness.

He knows. He knew before he gave His life on the cross for you. However, what does He say to the invalid man that He healed in John? "14 Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinninga or something worse may happen to you.”" (John 5:14) It's right there. From the mouth of Christ. Stop. Sinning.

So why do I have the mentality that one sin can beget another? That I failed, so another sin won't matter? I'm going to do it anyway so I might as well get it over with? I don't honestly know. I don't know if it's a product of our culture. Or if it's a product of us being human. Either way it's something I've decided I need to fix.

As I said before, It's so easy to fall into the "Domino effect". I see these patterns other places in my life as well. This also doesn't happen with positive things, but only negative. It's the typical flesh pushing the boundaries. Just one more. Just another one, it won't hurt. It's sin rearing its ugly head yet again.

It's ok to stop. It's ok to not repeat. It's ok to allow God to change you. It's can be a scary thing becoming a true child of God, but as we can see the rewards in heaven far outweigh the rewards you get here on earth. 

I'm going to continue praying about this, and allowing God to change me in this way. Working to be conscious every time I fall into this habit. Over time we CAN change, and if we ask, God WILL change us. I pray that those of you who also fall into this temptation will look to Him for help.

Tune in tomorrow or possibly the next day for another installment in this topic, but more of a progression. I have a lot to say that I thought about over the weekend. As always, thanks for reading and see you next time!

More Thoughts

You know, there are many different steps to trusting God. I think everyone has a different path to that as well. For me it was getting out of my comfort zone. I actually had to fight to do this, as everyone and everything in my life was trying to keep me there. It was like uprooting a tree that had been in the soil for years and years and had a strong root system. It took awhile to finally pull the trigger on this, but I had known in the back of my mind for a good length of time that I needed a change.

I'm not talking about a vacation. I'm not talking about a change of scenery. I'm talking about that I felt my struggle with the flesh, and the battle for my spirit would die if I stayed where I was. I was TOO comfortable. It was TOO easy. I had been given everything I could ever want or need without doing any real work. While I believe most people would read that and starting thinking "what an idiot..." (I think that myself sometimes too, but for different reasons lol) I knew this was something I needed to do.

I'm talking about moving to Korea. To be completely honest it probably could have been anywhere in world and it would have had the same result. Most of you reading this already know why I chose Korea so I'm not going to repeat the super long story (it's not really all that long). If you really want to read it, there's a detailed description in my first post on here.

So much has happened since I came here, and I'm ultimately so grateful for this opportunity. It's been, by far, the best experience of my life to date and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Certainly, there have been positives and negatives - and there will be more of those to come - but it's all leading me to be a stronger man, and more importantly bringing me closer to God.

My last post was rather scathing, and I'll be the first to admit I was a tad bit heated up (actually I was really only a bit heated up). I think my purpose here is starting to be revealed to me. Originally I thought it was to help refugees from North Korea once the Kim regime is overthrown (and of course that may still be God's will), but the more time I spend here the more insight I get into Korean culture.

I'm going to focus on Korean culture here, but bear in mind all of our cultures are pretty messed up. It's just that growing up in American culture it's easy to be blind to a lot of our faults, and being passionate about Korean culture, it's easy to pick out flaws. In fact a lot of what I will talk about will probably be applicable to the world anyway so it's whatever.

First of all, I absolutely love it here. People are extremely hospitable, I honestly haven't detected any anti-foreigner or anti-American sentiments, but that could definitely be due to the way I look or what I'm doing here. Either way the main fabric of the community here is very well knit. People take care of each other naturally day to day, at least compared to what I felt in America. It feels good to be a part of.

A lot of it feels superficial though, while still feeling genuine. Let me explain because that's a silly statement. The culture has a resounding unspoken motto of "do good things and you're a good person". In fact that's exactly what Christianity here feels like. I have a feeling Confucianism has a lot to do with that. I have been told multiple times that the culture here has its roots in Confucianism. (Yes I did just link to wikipedia....twice. Deal with it.)

Briefly Confucianism is more of a school of thought than a religion. The belief is to focus more on family and social harmony than on anything supernatural. It's a very humanistic view. Also a major belief is that humans are innately good, and teachable, and ultimately perfectible with enough practice.

Well if this isn't in direct contradiction to the Bible then I don't know what is. Yet the two exist...together. It's clear which has a stronger hold right now. In my last post I mentioned how the largest megachurch in the world is in Seoul. There are a good amount of Christians here, but I feel that the true teachings of the Bible are being missed.

I've had a lot of time to think about it lately, and due to personal reasons of course I have focused a lot on forgiveness, but even besides that I believe that is a main tenet of the Bible. Love and forgiveness.

I feel that here the main belief is that the Bible is ultimately a book of rules to be a good person. Sure Jesus is great, sure God sounds awesome, but really people are good at heart, and therefore all we have to do is do good deeds and everything will be all good. This is such a popular belief, and I've heard this many times in America as well. Just be good to each other and leave each other alone. Very Confucianistic. Very Humanistic.

This couldn't be more contradictory to the main premise of the Bible. We are all sinners that deserve eternal hellfire. Let me repeat that, we are ALL sinners. Yes that includes the pope, yes that includes saint Mary, yes that includes everyone who has ever lived, or will ever live of course minus Jesus. Logically, what was the point of Jesus coming and dying if that's not the case? As he pointed out in the Gospel of Matthew even our thoughts are sinful.

This brings me to love and forgiveness. Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone who wronged him. Jesus answered not 7 times, but 70 times 7 and even more. What a difficult teaching for humans! We are naturally full of vengeance. If someone wrongs us, we want to give them back twice or three times what they did to us! It's only fair right? We are the exactors of justice! Not quite. That is God's job. We should forgive, for "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7) None of us are perfect. We sin all the time. Therefore we should always forgive in love.

Think this is a hard teaching? How about the fact that it's easier to forgive those that you love, and love you. What about those who are unbelievers? How about those heathens and pagans that live in the third world? Surely they don't deserve our forgiveness. Wrong again. This is probably one of the most difficult things to do. I keep thinking back to Steven in scripture who while being stoned to death calls out to God and says "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." (Acts 7:60) 

What an incredible act of faith! He believed so adamantly that A) God could ultimately save them even though they had murdered a disciple of "the way" and B) that if not, God would exact justice as only He can. I can only pray for this kind of faith at the moment. As I said yesterday I feel I am getting closer to this, but my flesh still flares up whenever I feel wronged and I can still lash out in anger rather than teach and forgive in love.

Back to my observations. Things are very Pharisaic here. Pharisee's believed that you would be saved through works. They proved this time and time again by praying in large crowded places to gain notoriety from people. They disfigured their faces when fasting, and ALWAYS gave 10% of everything to the church. They lived life perfectly by the "law" and therefore never really lived at all. Jesus condemned them saying "Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean." (Matthew 23:26).

Granted, like I said before this goes for a lot of sectors of Christianity in the world, and unfortunately where Christianity gets most criticized. So many teachings are that you can be saved through "good deeds" and not simply by the grace of Christ coming to die for our sins. It can't be that simple right? Like...all we actually have to do is believe that we are sinners and doomed for destruction, and that Jesus came down from heaven to die on the cross to cover those sins.

Thinking about this simple fact never fails to blow my mind. As I've said in previous posts to the point of tears while looking at the cross. What an incredible love. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you would die for them? How about people that sin against you literally all day everyday? I can maybe imagine dying for a friend or family member, but for someone who hates me and sins against me? Truly amazing.

There's so much else to say but this should suffice for now. Truly love is all encompassing, and can change people. It certainly has done that for me. I have felt Christ's love, and I am changed forever. I now strive to love others with the same love that He has shown me. 

Thanks for reading!

I haven't posted on here in awhile...

There have been a lot of changes going on in my life during the past few weeks and even months. Most of which I can't even talk about because they're not fully finished yet. I have been caught up with these and haven't really had the time or motivation to keep up with blogging. There have certainly been blog worthy moments, but nothing that I absolutely HAD to post.

Today though was different. I just need an outlet to vent. I can't keep this inside. I'm crushed. I'm absolutely crushed. The worst part is that it's a private matter so I can't even really explain. I have been praying a lot and wondering how this happened. It's kind of difficult to even put into words honestly, which is rare for me, but one thing this has spawned is a lot of thought on how we are meant to act and live as Christians.

I'm going to use Korean culture as an example because right now I'm inundated with it, but truly the entire world acts the same. Here maybe it's a little more obvious, but man if it isn't prevalent the world over. Korea is like social media in real life. Appearance is EVERYTHING. I'm not just talking about physical (though that is EXTREMELY important and sought after). Being successful here with your job/degree and therefore money is so important that people are literally giving up relationships and any thoughts of getting married and having children. Friendships are dropped by the wayside. Your career is your life, and Korea makes this possible.

I never thought I'd actually see a culture that willingly gives themselves to slavery like this. Certainly there have been slaves in the past, and we're all spiritual slaves to sin, but here is another story. The drive to appear perfect is incredible, and almost scary. It's Pharisaic and in direct contradiction to the Bible. Yet Korea has many many large churches and people that would tell you they're "Christian". They just don't live it. The faith is completely cerebral and not emotional. It doesn't get past head knowledge.

The world's largest church is here in South Korea with almost 1 million members. They have over 200,000 people in attendance every weekend. I'm not gonna even begin to speak on the size of the church and what that tends to do to people, right now I'm more concerned with the observed state of faith here.

I've been studying the Gospel through book on tape on all of my bus rides (which are rather long) and doing my best to take in the worlds of Paul and of course Jesus and really live by them. I certainly am doing my best not to judge people and other Christians on their faith, because honestly everyone is at a different part of their walk with Christ...but I just can't help my heart from breaking when I witness the lack of forgiveness and love here. From professed Christians!

I realize that probably a majority of professed Christians truly aren't followers of Christ, but just people who think the Bible is a good set of rules to live by and therefore being a good person is enough. This breaks my heart even more, because it leads to self-righteousness. People who think they're good because they have "good intentions" and "don't treat anyone poorly". Oh what a heart rending sight! Why does the truth evade them! What were they taught?! Who wove this fabric of untruth?! Clearly the Devil is skilled at his craft.

I saw a quote on Facebook the other day (I know, I know) that I believe was from Timothy Keller, and it was something to the effect of "you cannot truly forgive if you think you are above someone else, only when you put yourself on the same level as them can you forgive them". Boy is that quote ever ringing true in my life right now. As with Paul I am daily doing my best to lower myself to the depths of humanity in order to understand, and not feel superior to anyone. I'm not talking about doing illegal things and being bad to people. I'm saying taking my mentality a peg down, realizing that I am absolutely nothing. I am a broken and sinful man. No better than anyone else, and that my heart should; and is starting to be filled with sheer thankfulness and forgiveness, and ultimately love.

But how agonizing it is when other Christians who claim to have the same beliefs don't engage in the very same acts of love that Christ commanded us to give to each other! Forgive! 70 times 7! Especially those who do wrong to you. It's so much easier for those that love you, and that you love. But if you can't forgive even those who love you and that you love, what does that say for you? What kind of exacting person believes that they are so good that they cannot forgive?! Ahhh it's so frustrating! "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:2) Live it!

In the same breath, who am I to judge? Am I not also a sinner who overlooks his actions and thoughts all the time? Have I truly forgiven those that have wronged me? Especially the ones that love me, and that I love? The honest answer is no...but I'm getting closer. Much closer. Everyday I close in on that heart that Christ preached, that Paul had. I will get there. Therefore I can't truly expect anything from anyone else. In fact, all I can truly rely upon is God and the power of Christ dying on the cross for my sins. The fact that everyday I disgrace and dishonor the cross, yet he gladly and graciously covers my sins again. That's true forgiveness. That's true love. I can only hope to emulate that.

Writing this out definitely helps. Speaking out and typing out your thoughts really gets them out there to see if they can stand the test of the weight you put on them. In your head they are always in a safe zone where it's easy to just see your way.

No. I can't expect these things even from Christians, because everyone is at a different point at their walk with God. At the end of the day we're all humans, and at the end of the day we are all sinners. I will continue to spread that message, and pray that God touches the hearts of all that I talk to. Meanwhile growing my own spirit in confidence and meekness. Praying all the while that love and forgiveness win. Thanks for reading.

I'm so broken.

Edit: As an aside I should add that the Korean people as a whole are wonderful people, with great family relationships, generosity, and hospitality built into their culture. I absolutely love living here, and the people here have been nothing but lovely to me. I wanted to make clear that my remarks are geared towards Christians and how we are not living our faith.