More Insanity!

I am blown away. I thought all of this was over. There were a few weeks of a lull and I figured that my time in the spotlight here was over. Maybe God was just allowing me time to realize that I didn't create any of this, He did, and I'm learning to be aware of this. Bad habits are certainly hard to break, no matter how strong your faith is. After being interviewed by JTBC there was a feeling creeping in. A feeling of superiority, a feeling that I deserved this. That I was special and maybe even a little better. That was old Carl rearing his head, and honestly not the first time that's happened while I've been here.

I walked into the dorm from class on Monday to be greeted by YJS and Heavy G. I had just come from a makeup class session of 2 hours for the days I had missed going to my friends wedding and visiting Seoul. After our typical 4 hour class, I spent lunch with Nathan and about halfway through a guy came up and asked if he could interview me on Tuesday. He was from the school newspaper. Of course I said yes. This was crazy cool, but at this point I was thinking it would be a final touch or closure to my other interviews. How wrong I was.

MVP gift I got from the foreign student field day.

YJS asked me about my interview coming up and I answered him wondering how he already knew about the newspaper interview. As we talked back and forth it became apparent that he wasn't referring to the school newspaper. Apparently a writer from the KBS show "Love Family" had called Heavy G while I was gone and wants to put me on the show. This blew my mind. This show is a huge deal. KBS is in Seoul and a MAJOR broadcasting company, like our NBC/ABC. I thought that JTBC was big last time I posted and said that, but they're more like a TNT I would say. KBS/SBS/MBC are the big 3 and I'm about to be on a show.

This show has had many k-pop stars on it, as well as other celebrities. I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was so humbled by it. All I can do is give thanks and praise to God. I truly am nobody special, just a vessel for Him and I'm so happy and honored to be used in His will. This is the attitude that I should always have, and will strive to keep. It's fascinating to me. I am finally learning the meaning of truly fearing God, but also loving him with all my heart and being humble and feeling fortunate.

I have been given so much in such a short period of time. I am so grateful for what I have, yet I don't wanna mess up and lose it. Don't get me wrong I'm not here walking on egg shells. I'll try to convey what I mean as best I can. As I said before, when things start going well it's so easy to think that you are the one who made your good fortune. Just as it is easy to blame God or other people when things go wrong. Especially reading Job everyday with my church back home is teaching me that all things are from God, and that even while the bad things may not be because we are at fault, ALL things will be used to His glory.

So this being said, I realize that what I have could be gone tomorrow. I have everything I could possibly want right now, and I don't want it to end. I know that if it does though there's a reason for it. I certainly don't want that reason to be me taking it for granted, or changing to expect my good fortune. I am finally learning the value of what I've been given, and I respect it that much more.

I am also learning that I am completely fulfilled through God, and not through what I have here. My happiness isn't and should not be tied to what I have here on this earth, or what I have or can accomplish. This is definitely a difficult lesson to learn and not one that I'm even close to achieving, however, I am becoming more and more fulfilled in Him each day. I'd like to think that regardless of what I have here, I can look past my immediate circumstances and trust in God.

Where I'm at right now is just such a great place, I feel like I'm completely fading away from the world, and into God's arms. I don't profess to have a path to get to this point. I don't think there's a standard path to God for anyone. Everyone does start in the same place though. Beginning a relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and if you trust in Him and continue to talk to Him and build a relationship, you will work your way further into His arms.

I pray all day long, whenever I feel the need to talk to God, about anything. It could be as simple as just a thank you for today, or something as intense as telling him that I want to wake up and spend every day in his arms. I do my best to pray just as Paul said we should. "¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). This is becoming easier and easier as I am more and more grateful for what He has done for me. Faith truly is like exercising your body. If you do it everyday it gets easier and easier. If you stop it gets harder, and is more difficult to start up again. Get the ball rolling and never stop!

I really hope that my growing confidence and faith is helping you all to grow in your faith as well. Whether you've been spending your days in His arms for years, or if you are deciding whether or not you want to start your relationship with Him. If the latter is the case, I encourage you to take that first step into His love. It's easy to think that being a Christian is restricting. I thought that for the longest time. Oh I can't drink, or swear or have any fun. But really it's completely freeing. You are freed from the chains of those sins. You're able to do anything you want still, only you have God's love and you're well equipped to break free of all bonds and live outside of a cage. I hope you all will join me in shaking free of these chains on our souls.

Last night Nathan wanted to go to a movie. I decided to invite a few of the RA's to get a group going. We wanted to hit dinner first and then the movie. It was a coin flip between GIANT MONSTER PIZZA and 짜장면 (Jja Jang Myun) black bean noodles which are also excellent. Well wouldn't you know, GIANT MONSTER PIZZA won! I actually would have been completely fine with Jjajang, but I was pretty interested in the pizza. It seems that around here the pizza LOOKS good, but ends up having corn on it or some other crazy thing.

This was different, this pizza was by far the closest to an American pizza that I've had here. It also cost about $30 for a 20" pizza. I would say it was good, but for that price not worth getting again. I felt bad for the other guys with me, we all had about a slice and a half. You live and learn though and that's the moral of the story.

GIANT MONSTER PIZZA!

After the pizza, Heavy G dropped Nathan, I and Park Jeong Bin off at the Megabox to watch Boss Baby. The movie was surprisingly good. Some very interesting jokes that Nathan and I thought were probably culturally irrelevant here, but overall it seemed to be pretty well received. We took the bus back to the campus and all said goodbye. It was late so I headed to bed, but since I had today off I made sure to get caught up on all my blog stuff. Thanks for tuning in guys! I'll see you tomorrow!

Korean Word/Phrase of the Day:보고 싶어요 (Bo Go Sheep Eo Yo) This translates to "I want to see you" but also can be used as "I miss you".

TL:DR I am Blessed.